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i'm tired of feeling like crap. i want it to go away, but it never does. every day i tell myself its going to be different. and then every night as i sit here at the computer, it happens again, and i just start to cry.... i thought maybe being at home would change something. well it didn't. i did the same thing at home. i'm tired of crying myself to sleep. and the thing is, i don't have a reason!! its not like i can say 'ok so THAT is the reason that i feel like that.' i don't have a reason!!! i don't understand. i don't know what's going on, and i don't know how to make it stop. i just want it to go away, for good. i hate that no one can help me. i guess i can't rely on others for everything. but it would just be nice if someone could tell me what i'm supposed to do. all well. i'll just keep on keeping up appearances, cuz thats what i do best, right? :-D


i'm tired of moulin rouge. lol. time for a new background!!