Sunday, August 31, 2003

this is my "rant" for the evening. don't get on IM if you're not gonna talk. don't be rude to someone, how are they supposed to know you're doing stuff? put up a freaking away message. there's a novel idea... GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
i saw tory tucker this morning, lol. i went to church with jessica at canton first friends. on my way out, i heard someone say my name. i turned around, saw tory, busted up laughing, and said "i'm not stalking you!!!" this is getting ridiculous, lol. i feel like i see him everywhere i go!! but its fun, cuz i've known him since back in the day, like jr high. (ha we're not going there..... lol) we're gonna hang out sometime, which is cool. he's fun.
work is boring. i'm going to go read some more.




hehe

Saturday, August 30, 2003

i now have every dashboard confessional song on my computer. thanks travis. :)
When Doves Cry
"When Doves Cry" (by Prince)
How could you just leave me standing,
Alone in a world so cold?
Maybe you're just too demanding.
Maybe I'm just like my father--too bold.
Maybe you're just like my mother.
She's never satisfied.
Why do we scream at each other?
This is what it sounds like,
When doves cry.


Which 80's Song Fits You?
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HASH(0x8749934)
Seer


The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

YOu see the world in Neutral
Neutral:
Harmony and balance is key. You don't look at the
world in a negative or positive way and you'll
never judge or assume a situation- you just
look at the facts. People like you are peaceful
and accepting.

Made by
Sara



What color do you see the world in?
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beast
You are Beast!

You are brilliant and extremely clever. You can
handle almost any problem swiftly and
efficiently. You are devoted to philosophy and
are always up for a good discussion.
Sometimes, though, your anger gets the best of
you and you upset those whom you care about.


Which X-Men character are you most like?
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You are Ephesians
You are Ephesians.


Which book of the Bible are you?
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You are a Clarinet!

You play the best instrument of all. The clarinet.
The instrument everyone else in and out of the
band wishes they could play. You can play
louder than the trumpets, although they would
never admit it. You are intelligent, and you
don't like to take crap from anyone, especially
the stupid people who can't play their
instruments. Almost anyone can play the
clarinet, but it takes a special person who can
play it well. However, even if you do not play
the clarinet well, you want to so that's good
enough. And even if you do not play the
clarinet at all and got this as your result, be
happy because being a wannabe clarinet player
is better than being a trumpet player. And if
you are a trumpet player, I'm laughing my ass
off.


Which Marching Instrument Are You?
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haha i just can't get away from it....

Thursday, August 28, 2003

by the way, only 17 days till heidi leaves. i'm going down to mvnu that weekend, i'm gonna be bawling the whole time.... ok now i'm going to go read.
i have the most boring job in the world. thats right. i sit in a computer lab for hours on end, doing nothing basically. straightening a chair here and there, putting some more paper in the printer, yeah thats about it. i'm hungry and i have to pee, but am i allowed to leave? no. i'm stuck here until 6:30. rarrr... but its really good for doing homework, i will say that much. :) there aren't too many distractions in a completely empty room (well besides the 20 computers, lol). i'm going to go now. i already did all my homework, but i started reading a painted house over again. i can't remember if i liked it the first time or not.
oh wait. i went to berean today. i got a cd (polarboy-4008) for $4, and i looked for any books by george macdonald, but they only had one. i want to see if i can find the one that jacob told me about, the princess and the goblin. i wonder if they would have it over in the library... i'll have to check that out sometime soon.
well, only another hour and 20 minutes. then i get to eat dinner!! and church rush is tonight, thats always good :) i hear there's lots of food given out.....

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

brittany merriman just called me. thats cool. now i'm gonna email jacob cuz he's cool, and then go to bed. i'm tired. bed is exciting. :)

pompom
You're Pom Pom!


***Which HomeStar Runner Character Are You?***
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Ichi
Ichi - "That one with wisdom"


What would your Japanese name be? (female)
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CWINDOWSDesktopPowerRangeres.jpg
Power Rangers Movie!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
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haha power rangers :)

g'night

Monday, August 25, 2003

ok enough of that. now i have psych class.... yippee.........
-- Name: tracey deanna yoder
-- Birthdate: 4.15.85
-- Birthplace: columbus, oh
-- Current Location: canton, oh
-- Eye Color: turd brown :)
-- Hair Color: brown
-- Righty or Lefty: righty
-- Zodiac Sign: aries
-- Innie or Outtie: innie

// series two - describe
-- Your heritage: i don't even know... lol
-- The shoes you wore today: dark green flip flops with yellowish/brownish flowers
-- Your hair: brown and up in a messy bun cuz i hate it
-- Your weakness: gullible and naive
-- Your fears: the dark sometimes, lol
-- Your perfect pizza: ham and pineapple, mmmm
-- One thing you'd like to achieve: graduating and paying off all my loans and such

// series three - what is
-- Your most overused phrase on aim: lol and definitely
-- Your thoughts first waking up: what time is it?
-- The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: hair
-- Your best physical feature: none
-- Your bedtime: around 12 or 1
-- Your greatest fear: ......
-- Your greatest accomplishment: i was pretty proud of graduating 13th in my class :)
-- Your most missed memory: pretty much anything to do with lisa, i still miss her like crazy

// series four - you prefer
-- Pepsi or coke: pepsi
-- McDonald's or Burger King: BK is better, but i work at mcd's
-- Single or group dates: never been on either... lol
-- Adidas or nike: adidas
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: i don't like tea
-- Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla
-- Cappuccino or coffee: cappuccino
-- Boxers or briefs: don't care

// series five - do you
-- Smoke: no
-- Cuss: i won't say that i haven't, but i try not to
-- Sing well: sorta
-- Take a shower everyday: every other usually
-- Have a crush(es): yeah
-- who are they: oh yeah like i'm gonna type them in here... lol
-- Do you think you've been in love: no
-- Want to go to college: i'm in college
-- Like high school: it was alright, i have good and bad memories
-- Want to get married: someday, but no one will ever like me, lol
-- Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: mostly
-- Believe in yourself: not at all
-- Get motion sickness: yes
-- Think you're attractive: no
-- Think you're a health freak: no
-- Get along with your parents: my mom most of the time, i don't talk to my dad
-- Like thunderstorms: not when i'm trying to sleep or when i'm babysitting
-- Play an instrument: clarinet, lol

// series six - in the past month, did/have you
-- Drank alcohol: never
-- Smoke(d): never
-- Done a drug: never
-- Have Sex: never
-- Made Out: never
-- Go on a date: never
-- Go to the mall?: nope
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: nope
-- Been on stage: nope
-- Been dumped: nope
-- Gone skating: nope. i had the option, but i chose to sleep instead
-- Made homemade cookies: nope
-- Gone skinny dipping: nope
-- Dyed your hair: nope
-- Stolen anything: nope

// series seven - have you ever
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing?: never
-- If so, was it mixed company: see above
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: never
-- Been caught "doing something": never
-- Been called a tease: nope
-- Gotten beaten: nope
-- If so, did you get caught: nope
-- Changed who you were to fit in: probly

// series eight - the future
-- Age you hope to be married: whenever
-- Numbers and Names of Children: don't know
-- Descibe your Dream Wedding: haven't really thought about it
-- How do you want to die: in my sleep
-- Where you want to go to college: i'm at malone, but i've been thinking about mvnu. i don't want people to get the wrong idea tho, so i dunno
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: i don't know yet, lol
-- What country would you most like to visit: UK

// series nine - opposite sex
-- Best eye color? doesn't really matter
-- Best hair color? doesn't really matter
-- Short or long hair?: curly is good (jared witmer has the best hair ever, i always played with it this summer, lol), i don't really care about the length
-- Best height: taller than me
-- Best weight: don't care
-- Best articles of clothing: shoes. i always look at a guys shoes. i'm weird, i know. lol
-- Best first date location: dunno, never been on one
-- Best first kiss location: dunno, never been kissed

// series ten - number of
-- Number of girls I have kissed in my life: 0
-- Number of girls you have made out with: 0
-- Number of girlfriends you've had: 0
-- Number of boys I have kissed: 0
-- Number of boys you have made out with: 0
-- Number of boyfriends you've had: all together: like 5, but they were all jr high except for 1 serious: 0
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: 0
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: jesus
-- Number of CDs that I own: too many
-- Number of piercings: 1
-- Number of tattoos: 0
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: only a few
-- Number of scars on my body: a lot
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: can't count that high....
Name: tracey deanna yoder
Do you like it?: sure
Nicknames: pete, tracky, and i've acquired a few more random ones the last few days, like trixie (from reno) and crazy tracey (kasey)
Screen names: relientkbandgeek is the only one i really use
Age: 18
Birthday: 4.15.85
Sign: aries
Location: canton, oh
Status: SINGLE
School: malone college
Crush: oh c'mon y'all know this one. him and a few others.
Natural hair color: brown
Current hair color: brown
Eye color: the color of turds.... haha
Height: 5'7 or something like that
Birthplace: columbus, oh
Shoe size: 9

[ family ]
Parents: bob and lynn
Siblings: rusty and tim
Live with: my roommate
Favorite relative: my cousin anya i guess. i never see her, but its fun when i do

[ favourites ]
Number: don't have one
Color: orange
Day: saturday
Month: may
Song: i like a lot of songs, but at the moment i really like jeremiah's "pretty girl"
Movie: princess bride :) and a beautiful mind
Food: chex mix
Band: relient k
Season: spring or summer
Sport: 5 puck :)
Class: don't have one yet
Teacher: teddy carchedi, my american history/government teacher my jr and sr years of HS
Drink: milk
Veggie: brocolli
TV Show: gilmore girls
Radio Station: radio u
Store: thrift, wal-mart, and old navy
Word: definitely... i need to stop using it
Animal: pig
Flower: don't have one. i've never gotten flowers. lol
State: of confusion

[ this or that ]
Me/You: you cuz i hate me
Coke/pepsi: PEPSI!
Day/night: night
Aol/aim: AIM
Cd/cassette: CD
Dvd/vhs: DVD
Jeans/khakis: jeans
Car/truck: car
Tall/short: either
Lunch/dinner: dinner
NSYNC/BSB: well i do have that justin timberlake cd... :) but give me plus one any day :-D
Britney/Christina: ugh
Gap/Old Navy: old navy
Lipstick/Lipgloss: chapstick
Silver/Gold: silver
Alcohol/Weed: neither

[ love and relationships ]
Do you have a bf/gf?: no
Do you have a crush?: yeah
How long have you liked him/her?: since prom
Why do you like this person?: he's cool
If you're single... why are you single?: cuz boys are bad and i'm scared of dating, thats why. lol
How long was your longest relationship?: never really had one
How long was your shortest relationship? see above
Who was your first love?: never had one-well i'll say nathan capps tho, cuz that whole episode went on for like 3 or 4 years
What do you miss about them?: awww i never see him! he called me here at school the other day tho, i was so excited!! :)

[ the past ]
What is the one thing you would change about your past?: lets see.. just about EVERYTHING! lol
What is the biggest mistake you've made in your life?: not going there
Last thing you heard: the tv
Last thing you saw: the computer screen
Last thing you said: thats twice as much as mine!! (talking to chrissy about book purchases)
Who is the last person you saw?: chrissy when she stuck her head in my door to tell me about her deaf professor
Who is the last person you kissed?: ummm NEVER lol
Who is the last person you hugged?: my momma before i left yesterday
Who is the last person you fought with?: travis, if that counts. i got a little mad when i was talking to him the other night, but i don't think he even knew
Who is the last person you were on the phone with?: my heidi last night
What is the last TV show you saw?: i'm watching "a dating story" on TLC
What is the last song you heard?: ummmm i don't remember. something on radio u when i was listening to it earlier

[ the present ]
What are you wearing?: jeans, flip flops, and my bleach t-shirt
What are you doing?: sitting at my computer and watching tv
Who are you talking to?: no one cuz i have no friends... lol. i take that back, justin steiner just IMed me :)
What song are you listening to? some song on a commercial
Where are you?: in my dorm room
Who are you with?: no one
Are you online?: yes
How are you feeling?: bored and i have a headache
Are you in a chatroom?: no

[ future ]
What day is it tomorrow?: tuesday
What are you going to do after this?: go to my psych class
Who are you going to talk to?: probly no one cuz i won't know anyone in the class
Where are you going to go?: mitchell hall 109, lol
How old will you be when you graduate?: i dunno, 22 or 23 probly
What do you wanna be?: i dunno yet
What is one of your dreams?: ......
Where will you be in 25 years? i have no idea

[ have you ever ]
Drank?: nope
Smoked?: nope
Had sex?: nope
Stolen?: nope
Done anything illegal?: driving-wise, yes
Wanted to die?: yes
Hit someone?: yes

[ other ]
Do you write in cursive or print?: print
Are you a lefty or a righty?: righty
What is your sexual preference?: after marriage :)
What piercings do you have?: eyebrow
Do you drive?: yes
Do you have glasses or braces?: glasses
Did you like this survey?: sure

[ physical appearance ]
What do you most like about your body?: nothing
And least?: poop brown eyes and boring hair lol
How many fillings do you have?: one or two i think
Do you think you're good looking?:no
Do other people often tell you that you're good-looking?: only kurt, so that doesn't count. lol
Do you look like any celebrities?: no

[ fashion ]
Do you wear a watch?: yeah
How many coats and jackets do you own?: i dunno, i usually wear hoodies
Favorite pants/skirt color?: jean
Most expensive item of clothing?: prom dresses
Most treasured?: hoodies
What kind of shoes do you wear?: chucks or flip flops
Describe your style in one word: comfortable
10 bands you've seen live
- relient k
- five iron frenzy
- pax217
- supertones
- carman
- world wide message tribe
- delirious
- the sam :)
- the elms
- benjamin gate

9 things you're looking forward to
- lunch
- going to one of the many FIF concerts in the next few weeks
- sonfest!!!
- seeing craig and elizabeth at sonfest
- malone CC invitational (i know it sounds dumb, lol. but my little brother will be here to run and craig's probly gonna come up too!!)
- getting FIF-the end is near
- getting a job soon, lol
- my college experience class on friday, cuz i haven't seen anyone from my group since saturday night!!
- sleeping

8 things that you wear daily
- underwear
- my promise ring
- a shirt
- flip flops
- hair ties (i never wear my hair down, lol)
- jeans, and shorts on a very rare basis
- deoderant
- a smile or frown

7 things that annoy you
- people
- swearing
- shoes
- djibouti
- ignorant people
- when the toilet paper isn't on with the paper coming from the top, lol
- people who say they're going to do something, like COME VISIT, for instance, but they don't do it

6 things you touch every day
- food
- milk
- pillow
- eyebrow ring
- my hair
- my glasses

5 things you do every morning
- wake up
- go to the bathroom
- put my hair up
- brush my teeth
- check my email

4 people you'd like to spend more time with
- joe smith
- jacob. i wish that i could have spent some more time with him before i left for college, he seemed awesome (check out his band!)
- nathan capps
- cassie. i just met her the other day, and she seems awesome

3 movies you could watch over and over
- princess bride
- extreme days
- monty python holy grail

2 of your favourite songs at the moment
- falling out-relient k
- anything on bs2's second album

1 person you could spend the rest of your life with
- my heidi (and you know what i mean, don't be gross)
ok now i'm really going to bed, lol. but craig IMed me so i had to talk to him for a bit... but i really need some sleep :)
classes start tomorrow. i only have 2, so thats not bad. i have communication skills at 9 and foundations of psych at 2. whoopee. i went home today. i went to church (mom got mad when she found that out, but all well. i don't really want to go back to LMC anymore!!), went home for a bit, then went down to LMC to hear jenny talk about her trip. that was cool. that girl cracks me up, i love her! then we all went home (yes the yoder family had 4 cars at church.... rusty had his car cuz he went to his church then came down, i had my car cuz i went to mine, dad drove cuz he had to be there at like 8:30, and mom drove her van cuz she didn't want to go that early). that was amusing to me. i printed out a card on the computer and mom stamped a card for jeremiah, then me and her went to his graduation party. that was cool. we were there for longer than i thought we would be. mom said she only wanted to stay for like 20 minutes. we were there for probly an hour. we looked at pictures, ate, then jordan gave me her personal picture tour, complete with a narration of "that was when jeremiah looked weird, that was on my birthday when he played a song at his concert cuz he asked mom and dad if i could go and he played me a song cuz it was my birthday.... that was when jeremiah looked weird, thats jeremiah's weird friend" and so forth. it was hilarious. then i gave her a piggy back ride all over the church [i know people were looking at me like some kinda weirdo, but hey, i had fun, i love kids, especially my buddy jordan!!]. then everyone watched a video that had pictures and video clips of jeremiah. there was a torched one of me and him at prom. i hate pictures of myself (i say this as i look up at the pictures around my computer-one of me and jeremiah, one of me, leah, and jenny, one of me, kim, leah f, and sara r, one of me and heidi, our mcdonalds prom picture, our senior prom picture.... i'm in all of these, lol). anyway. during the video i smashed my toe with the chair leg. jordan was in my lap and i was trying to move the chair so we could see the screen better. it freaking hurt!!!! it was hard not to cry!! it still hurts, too. mom didn't know that jeremiah sang. after the video she asked him to sing, so we all went out to the sanctuary and he sang a few songs. i love his voice!!! i'm a sucker for guys who can sing, i always have been. not necessarily saying that-oh well i don't feel like lying anymore, i like jeremiah. but thats old news anyway. its just the first time i've "publicly displayed" it. it doesn't matter, i'm sure he has no interest in me anyway. he's an awesome friend tho so its all great. anyway. after he sang some songs, mom and i headed out. i got a hug, went home, went to wal-mart to buy a dry erase board, then came back here. other than talking to craig on IM, going to mcd's with cassie, and talking to heidi on the phone, my night has been uneventful. oh and i got the cable all hooked up. lol. go me.
i'm getting excited for sonfest. i think i'm gonna go down the night before and stay with someone craig knows. i dunno who yet tho.... lol. ELIZABETH IS FOR SURE GOING TO SONFEST!!!!!!!!! i'm so excited, i can't wait for that!! the malone CC invitational is sept 20. craig's gonna try to come. thats cool, i'm excited for that too. two weekends in a row with craig will be fun stuff. :)
ok i should head to bed soon. i'm sure that neither of those classes tomorrow are going to be anything special, but i'm tired so i'm gonna sleep anyway. i don't have to get up till 8:30!! :)

Sunday, August 24, 2003

someday i'll sit down and update this. but for now, i'm going to bed. g'night.

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

tonights my last night of mcd's. for a while anyway. i'm excited about that. i've actually had a relatively fun time this past week or 2. lol. the people that i've worked with have been cool [mostly]. i wish i coulda worked a little more often with jacob. he's fun. and he did the chicken dance. thats good stuff right there. doug was fun yesterday too. i know a lot of people named doug. anyway. he was really quiet for the first like 2 hours that i worked with him. jacob and i were trying to think of "topics" to bring him into the conversation. after awhile, he wasn't quiet anymore. no, he was just like all those other guys back there in the grill, making fun of me. lol. it was still fun tho.
all my junk is packed up in mom's van. my clothes, stuff, computer, tv, dvd, all that good stuff. thats cuz i won't have time to do anything in the morning. working till close and then getting up early and driving an hour to canton isn't gonna be fun. but all well.
i close with derek tonight. that should be fun. hopefully. maybe i'll get to work on counter like last night-oh wait no. no one ever puts me up there. ashley didn't even know that i knew how to work counter until i said something about it. then she put me up there. it was fun. well, as fun as working at mcd's can be.
our mail lady was just talking to my moms bird cuz its out on the front porch (in it's cage). i don't really know why its out there. cuz mom put it there i guess. anyway...
i should go get ready for work. and find a band-aid to put on my eyebrow. i hate wearing a band-aid over it. it smashes it down to my forehead. blah.
ok i'm going now...
i wrote a really long email to heidi today, but i don't think it sent right cuz i sent it in a hurry. that makes me not happy. and taylor still has my RK hoodie. that makes me REALLY not happy. ok now i'm gonna go pee, change my clothes, and go to work... COME SEE ME!! I WORK 4-CLOSE!!! :)

Monday, August 18, 2003

i just spent the last 45 minutes or so reading lynne’s deadjournal. i miss her. i don’t think we hung out at all this summer. i mean i know i wasn’t home much, but i dunno… things with her are just weird. in my view, anyway. maybe she doesn’t notice or care. i just hate it when people tell me that they want to hang out, or that i’m a great friend or something, and then have them go away without even saying bye. once. she mentioned me in her journal once in the entries that i read. and it was just about a time that she went to mcd’s to see if i was working, and i wasn’t. i guess she’s not in mine either tho. i dunno. This is a screwy post. i just wish we coulda hung out before she left.
i’m glad that i hung out with the people i did this last week or 2. jenny, taylor, derek, jeremiah, mike, ashley, kory, abbie, kurt, and there’s probly more. its weird that i’m leaving in 2 days. wow. i think i’m ready. mom and i really get at each other sometimes, dad and i never even talk anymore, i’m just ready to get away from all that for awhile. i’m coming home next weekend, lol. jeremiah’s “celebration of achievement” (lol) party is on sunday, so i wanna come home and go to that. plus i guess jenny’s talking at LMC about her trip, so i’ll probly go to that too. so i’ll be home sunday.
mom said that leah was at church yesterday. she keeps making these little comments about LMC, hinting to me that i should go back. every sunday she tells me who’s asked about me. but i’m not going to go there. i really like Columbiana Nazarene, and am gonna continue going there whenever i’m home. i hated LMC. i do miss the church family a bit tho. i mean that was my church from second grade until just a few months ago. i dunno.
well its 1:30 and i’m still sitting around doing nothing. i think i’m gonna go get the boxes and put my computer in it. and make a last “sweep” of my room to make sure i have what i want out of it. But i’m not too worried about forgetting anything, especially since i’ll be home most of the day on sunday. i need to wash my car too…
oh oh exciting stuff before i go. elizabeth called me on saturday and i told her about sonfest. she’s probly gonna go now. :) that’s really exciting to me. i miss her big time.
ok i’m off to get some stuff done before mom gets home and chews me out [again].
sitting around doing nothing... i should be packing, but i think i'm almost done. i just need to pack up my computer, finish washing my sheets, and go buy shampoo and crap like that. all well.
had lunch in smithville (i am SO tired of eating at the barn!!!) with my grandparents yesterday. i don't feel like writing right now, so i'm just gonna stop... maybe more after work tonight. i close with kurt. yippee...

Saturday, August 16, 2003

today was a good day. i hung out with jenny all day. i went over there around 2 or so, and left around 11. we went garage sale-ing, lol. and we went to dollar general-where i saw my girls!! jordan and taylor. the 2 cutest girls in the world! they weren't at church on sunday so i didn't get to see them then. anyway. then we went to pick up boston from day care. doggy day care. lol. we rented a movie (what a girl wants). we watched like an hour of it, then went to mcdonalds to meet taylor there at 6:30. i managed to fall down in the grass and get a nice grass stain on my knee while jenny was changing. i was playing with boston and i didn't know the grass was that wet.... lol. so we met taylor, and i ended up clocking in and working for 5 or 10 minutes cuz they were freaking swamped with like 3 new people on counter who didn't know what they were doing. so i grabbed a shirt out of the office, clocked in, and helped get them caught back up. we got to lazy bean around 6:55. its a really fun little cafe. i wish i had known it was there before now. but i don't think its been there long. maybe just this summer? i dunno. but its cool. the concert was fun. i've never really seen jeremiah drum before, except like 2 or 3 years ago when i didn't really know who he was, i just saw his band at punk rock prom. he's really good. they played some fun songs that i actually knew. jenny, taylor, and i sat at a table and colored. not the whole time, but for part of it. it was fun. i randomly found some twist-up crayons in my book bag. i crocheted thru most of the concert. taylor kept looking at me and cracking up. but hey, it gives me something to do. i hate just sitting still doing nothing. thats why i crochet. lol.
after the concert a guy came up to me, tapped my arm, and said "i'll see you next week?" he looked a little familiar, but i really had no idea who he was or where i was gonna see him. i tried not to seem rude, but i really didn't know. he told me he'd dropped jeremiah off at my graduation party, and then i remembered. i felt bad that i didn't. he remembered my name and everything, and i didn't know his... but there was a lot of stuff happening when i met him. (it was at my graduation party, i met a lot of people that day). i still felt bad tho. its cool to know that i know someone else on campus. i know like 5 people now... lol
i talked to kurt for a sec when we were at mcdonalds. we're meeting at 8:30 for breakfast on sunday morning before we go to church. that means i have to get up even earlier than planned... i might actually have to go to bed tomorrow night... lol.
i got an email from travis tonight!!!! i was so excited when i opened my email and saw it!! there's an internet cafe where he is in africa, so he emailed me! that made my night. it made up for stupid people, not mentioning any names. sometimes i just wish i knew what was going on....
well i'm done for now. oh wait one more thing. this is my current favorite song, i love it. its awesome. its exactly how i feel right now.

For You To Notice by Dashboard Confessional

I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
Where I would impress you
With every single word I said
Would come out insightful or brave or smooth or charming
And you'd want to call me
And I would be there every time
You'd need me
I'd be there every time...
But for now I'll look so longingly
Waiting...
For you to want me,
For you need me,
For you to notice me

ok now i'm getting off, since no one's online to talk to anyway...

Thursday, August 14, 2003

by the way, 31 days till heidi leaves...
i'm closing tonight. blah. i was supposed to work 5-10. then last night julie asked if i could come in at 4. so then i was gonna work 4-10. charity called 15 minutes ago and asked if i'd close tonight. so now its 4-almost midnight. whoopee. i don't know who i close with. hopefully NOT kurt. but anyway...
i actually haven't minded working as much as i have this week. i'm gonna be really happy when i get my paycheck. and its been fun to see people. of course, a lot of the old crew is gone, but some of the new people are fun too. i had a hilarious time working with taylor and jacob last night. jacob really cracks me up. he's really quiet, most of the time. when he talks or does something, it cracks me up. like last night. i mentioned heidi being in mexico (probably) for a year and how i was sad. he asked me if she spoke mexican. i was like "no she took french in high school." then he informed me that i was dumb and that mexican isn't a language. (i knew that, i really did!! i'm not that stupid!! lol) then he told someone else that there was no doubt about how dumb i am, or something corny like that. then later on to "apologize", he did the chicken dance. let me tell you, you have seen nothing until you've seen jacob do the chicken dance. lol.
taylor's going to the glen concert w/me tomorrow (she'd better bring my relient k hoodie that she borrowed to wear to 7&14 last night, or i might cry!!! lol). i didn't wanna go by myself. i might call nathan and see if he wants to go. i talked to him online earlier and i wanna hang out with him before i leave next week.
speaking of nathan. i was randomly reading old journals last night cuz i couldn't sleep. a lot of stuff has happened between me and him. we had a real "love/hate" relationship there for awhile. i liked him, he didn't like me. then he liked me, but i didn't like him, and so on and so forth for many years (like all thru junior high and most of high school!), thats just crazy! so now i look back at it, and i miss him. we haven't been talking much in the last year or so, and that makes me sad. he was one of my closest friends for awhile, i could tell him anything. i probly still can, he's cool like that.
but anyway. that was an interesting tangent.
i could go off on another tangent, but i won't. i'll save that for the journal that no one else will read but me. stuff is just weird right now, we'll leave it at that.
so i went to kory manley's house the other night. i know, i know, thats weird. but it was cool. he was recording some music for jeremiah, derek and keef. i hung out with ashley (workman) and abbie (i dunno her last name... keef's fun girlfriend) while they recorded. it was fun. except for getting lost on the way... but hey, it was like 11 at night and it was dark!! i ended up giving jeremiah a ride home cuz we both had to be home by 1. i got home a little late, but mom was asleep and didn't know. i was only like 10 minutes late, not that bad.
so anyway. this entire blog was pretty much pointless, so i'm gonna end it now... lol
i need to go get dressed for work one of these days... BLAH!! if you're reading this, come see me at columbiana mcdonalds anytime after 4!! :)

Monday, August 11, 2003

i hate mcdonalds. i should quit, but i can't. i was so close to walking out last night. nome wanted to, but i need the money too bad. i couldn't listen to him cuz it wouldn't have been that hard to talk me into walking out. i really wanted to. it woulda been kinda fun to leave ashley screwed, cuz she did it to us! she freaking played with her cell phone all night!! i don't know what she was doing, but every time i looked up she was messing with it! she told nome to close the lobby-thats most definitely a manager's job! and then it left me and him screwed cuz by the time he got back, we were really far behind. i had the deck mop almost done, but we got really busy so i had to watch the screen (by myself) instead of deck mopping. we closed at 11 last night, but didn't get outta there till like 11:50. it sucked. i have to go back tonight. and tomorrow. and wednesday and thursday. and maybe saturday. and probly monday and tuesday. then wednesday i leave. blah. lynne came thru the drive thru last night. i didn't get to hang out with her at all this summer, and she's leaving in 2 days for kent.
oh and apparently i've been a hot topic of discussion there while i was gone. grrrrr. i really need a new job. but who's gonna hire me when i say "hi i can only work for a week now, and then i'm gonna be gone until fall break, then gone until christmas break, etc. etc." no-freaking-body. so i'm stuck there until God knows when. with people who are stupid.
but sometimes its ok. it was ok saturday night. maybe it will be tonight. but probly not, cuz i close with kurt. he likes to make statements, and then not explain them. it drives me insane. he did it the other day. first of all, i think he was just making up everything he was telling me. grrrr. ok i'm done now. i'm gonna go find something more productive to do, like get dressed and clean my eyebrow ring...
grrrrrrrr (that reminds me of donna, lol. gri gralmost grorgot grabout grat.)

Saturday, August 09, 2003

yesterday was good. it was awesome to see everyone one last time. but at the same time, it was sad. i spent my entire summer with these people. they were there for the highs and the lows, the laughs and the cries. and now we're all back in our various homes in various parts of the state (or other states!!), apart until december, and it seemed like a lot of the people i asked aren't coming to the december reunion. no job on earth will ever compare to being a camp counselor, as stupid as that may sound. i know at times i want to quit (like at jr hi camp, when i was ready to just walk away and never come back! but i stayed, thanks to craig and others who calmed me down), but its awesome. the friendships that you make doing it will last for a lifetime, cuz they're friendships made in the Lord. i dunno. it just makes me sad. i really miss everyone, they're like family to me.
but yesterday was fun. i got to camp around 11. i was a little not sure about the whole piercing thing, not sure how people would react, but everyone was cool. the best reaction had to be joe. i'd been there for about an hour and a half. we're sitting there eating lunch, joe is across from me. he looks at me, jumps, and goes "aahhh!!" i was like "just now noticing it?" it was funny. i have some good craig quotes from yesterday, but i think i get good craig quotes every time i see him, lol. ooo ooo ooo! i'm gonna get into sonfest for free!! woohoo! i haven't decided yet, but i can go down the night before and craig will hook me up with someone to stay with. my other option is leaving my car at ben's or travis's and riding down with them. so i dunno what i want to do yet.
i wish i'd spent more time with sarah yesterday. i talked to her at camp, but she'd left by the time i got to clay's park. but i was glad that i could see justin one last time before he leaves for hesston. and i got my central shirt, after like 2 years of asking. :)
heidi. a year. in another country. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! i don't want to think about it right now. yesterday was it. i'm not gonna see her for a year now. that sucks.
think happy thoughts: i got a letter from my sis elizabeth yesterday. i'm definitely gonna go down for a FB game and watch her direct. i can't wait. i guess i got to camp half an hour after she left yesterday. thats sad.
i had fun at kelli's last night. i'm glad that i invited myself to her house, lol.
ok i'm gonna get off here now. i wanna play roller coaster tycoon on my computer.
i have to go back to work tonight. 4-close. with some kid i don't know named nome. its gonna suck. lol
i'm out...

Wednesday, August 06, 2003

today was a very random day. i decided i to get my eyebrow pierced, so i called up kimmy cuz i didn't want to go by myself. she not only went with me, she got her nose and belly button pierced. girls gone wild today at the tattoo parlor... lol naw just kidding. :) i think it looks fun, but who knows whats gonna happen when i go to kidron on friday... lol

i was really bored afterwards, so i walked down to the library (my gas gauge is on E... i have no gas. i'm not sure if i can even make it to a gas station!! lol) and got some movies: angela's ashes, america's sweethearts, and k-pax. i watched angela's ashes. they did a good job with it, if you compare it to the book. i'm not crazy about either one, but it was alright. i still don't understand why its called angela's ashes, cuz she doesn't die!! if anyone knows, explain it to me!
then i did a fun logic puzzle-i love those. it made me think of the beginning of the school year when lynne and i did those like crazy. we musta analyzed the ones that we had for hours and hours... but it was a lot of fun. :)
i'm going to lunch at band camp tomorrow. blah. i don't really want to. i want to see some people, but i really don't wanna see rodik. i'm NOT one of the graduates that's gonna start calling him randy and act like he's my best friend even tho i hated him when he was my teacher, like other people have done. all well. that doesn't matter. i'm leaving in 14 days, and then i won't have to see people from leetonia ever again if i don't want to, and i'm not sure if i do! i wanna see friends, but thats about it. there are definitely some people in this town that i could live without ever seeing again. but all well. thats that. i have a headache. so i'm going to go take some drugs. lol.
heidi leaves in a little over a month. 39 days, to be exact. i am seriously gonna go insane. i need her. and she's gonna be reeeeeeeeeeally far away. but i guess thats what paper, pen, and stamps were invented for....
ok i'm really leaving this time, i just had to be "depressed" for a bit.

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

i had a good weekend. i didn't want to go home, but do i ever? i've spent the past two days in my room, cleaning it. not my idea of fun. i went thru everything, threw away like 3 garbage bags full of stuff... i'm glad its done. i think i'm gonna go to the mall tomorrow, if i can find someone to go with me. i'm too scared to go by myself. i know i know, it's just a little eyebrow piercing, but still. i don't want to go by myself. :)

i'm excited for the staff reunion on friday. i hope elizabeth is there. she thought she would be the last time i talked to her. so hopefully she will be. :) i've really missed her this last month, or however long its been since i saw her. she really is like a sister to me. i can't wait to go down to west liberty and see her direct the band. :) i hope ben remembers to burn me a copy of the sims for my computer. :)

i have a new favorite song. when in doubt by thousand foot krutch.

We sat upon your bed,
You said the things you said
And I could not believe that you seem so naive
We exchanged our poetry,
You seem to think a lot like me
I'll guess I'll just assume that we could talk about most anything
Then I asked have you ever felt abandoned? F
elt so lost that you were stranded,
Just like all the walls are closing in
And you were left inside
Have you ever felt like your days were numbered?
Stuck under a tree in thunder
Seems to be no way out!
But there is One when in doubt

Ready for another day
Slowly watch ya waste away,
Havin' fun, bein' cool
Like we did in high school,
Elementary romance feelin' nervous at the dance,
Crack a smile hold it down,
Whatever the circumstance,
Sex, Drugs, Hadda be cool,
All the things we learned in school,
Typical teenage machines,
Anyone tell me what this means?
I could learn, I could try,
Never really had an alibi
Wish I did, that’s no lie
Everybody's asking

(chorus)
Why
When you feel like you cant fly
You gotta know I got the answer for ya baby,
Drives ya crazy, it's not over
Theres so much more to life then this
Why?When you feel like you cant cry
You gotta know I got the answer for ya baby,
Drives ya crazy it's not over
Theres so much more to life then this

Things seem so hallucinary,
In the corners of my mind they scare me,
I know ya never meant to desert me,
Just like ya never really meant to hurt me
Then I ask have you ever felt abandoned?
Felt so lost that you were stranded,
Just like all the walls are closing in
And you were left inside
Have you ever felt like your days were numbered?
Stuck under a tree in thunder
Seems to be no way out
But there is One when in doubt
And you ask

(chorus)

So much more to life than this

i really like that song. :) ok i think thats all for now... i have some stuff i want to do before i get off here and head to bed.

Saturday, August 02, 2003

wow its been awhile. lol. like 2 months. all well. i'm back. i'll try to keep up with this again. i forgot about it. the summer's almost over. i start college august 20. eek. lol.

so i'm sitting in the basement at ben's house in kidron, OH. its almost 2 in the morning. i'm surrounded by guys (brad, dustin, and braden) playing counterstrike or something like that, and ben is asleep on an air mattress behind me. tim is upstairs and jenny is asleep in the other room. i'm glad she's staying here tonight, i'm not the only girl now. lol. but she went to bed at like 11:30 or something. lol. i should go to bed. but i had too much caffiene today. i can sleep in tomorrow. jenny's getting up at 8, but i'm just gonna sleep in till like 10. i love the relief sale. lol. it was also a good excuse to come out here and hang out with everyone. :) i think mom didn't want me to stay here, but i don't really care. its always interesting, thats for sure. :)

so tomorrow will pretty much be spent at the relief sale all day long. watching the quilt auction. :) and eating egg rolls and homemade ice cream. and looking thru all the weirdo books at the book sale. and looking at the fun stuff in the ten thousand villages room. lol. i'm such a dork. :)

i have to go back to mcdonalds soon. i told them i could come back august 9 and then found out that i actually coulda started on monday, but all well. another week off will be nice, even tho i can't really afford it. i hear a bunch of people quit, are quitting, or got fired. and practically everyone got a raise. i want one!! i'll flip if they don't give me one.

ok i really do need to go to bed. lol. its getting late. i just need to convince my body that its tired. i'm off...