best thing i've heard in a reeeeeally long time:
My away message: english. blah. then personal wellness. blah.
at least i have both of those classes with you...
David John Bobby Orr's response: DavidJ710 (8:21:30 AM): What! you do! Oh no! I've been cutting all semester!

david you crack me up. you need to hook me up with some directions so i can come visit. or get your butt over here. cuz its been waaaaaay too long since the last time i saw you. like 3 years or something like that??

kelli knows me almost better than i know myself. she knows things that i won't admit to myself. i was in a crummy mood earlier. then i went to bible study. good stuff. even better, i went to starbucks afterward w/kelli, ox, and rachel. OH WAIT-even BETTER!!!! i used kelli's phone to call lacey to tell her happy birthday, and then to get elizabeth's number. i called liz, and everything works!! I'M GOING TO WEST LIBERTY!! in 10 days!!! i CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!! i'm gonna see my sis!!! for a whole weekend!! woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ox played his guitar for us in the parking lot before we left starbucks. happy guitar music. he's really good!! i definitely want one of his cds when he gets them done. and he's gonna burn both further seems forever cds for me!!! HAPPINESS!!! if he doesn't remember to do it before bible study next week, he'll bring them to celebration. i'm excited. :) so anyway, after we left there kelli and i had much discussion in her car. she's known me for so very long. i love her. i can tell her anything, and know that its ok to do so. she figured something out about me that i've never told anyone. she also had some interesting insight on it...
this whole guy thing? i'm liking it. definitely different than anything i've ever done. but he's great. i'm still scared outta my mind about the whole thing tho. letting him in is gonna be hard. i hate letting people in. only a few people really know me. heidi, kelli, ali, and travis. i think thats about it. i dunno.... i really like being with him tho. its just gonna take some time.

"unless you listen to this song. i miss you by incubus. it makes me want to...i don't know.... do something to random boys."
-ali monnot

edit: i discovered while talking to her at b/s tonight that it was BRANDON BOYD not RANDOM BOYS..... haha just fyi

i got this from ali. its fun stuff.

If I were a month I would be: may
If I were a day of the week I would be: saturday
If I were a time of day I would be: 1 am
If I were a planet I would be: pluto
If I were a sea animal I would be: manatee
If I were a direction I would be: south
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: kelli's computer chair
If I were a historical figure I would be: elvis prestley so i could dress like that... haha
If I were a liquid I would be: dish soap
If I were a stone, I would be: marble
If I were a tree, I would be: a pine tree in pine cove
If I were a bird, I would be: humming bird
If I were a tool, I would be: a nail
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: a weed (not weed... A weed)
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: cloudy
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: pipe organ
If I were an animal, I would be: armadillo
If I were a color, I would be: orange
If I were an emotion, I would be: apathy
If I were a vegetable, I would be: broccolli
If I were a sound, I would be: the way it sounds when it rains on the roofs at camp luz
If I were an element, I would be: earth cuz ali says so
If I were a car, I would be: something with four wheels
If I were a song, I would be: bend and not break by dashboard confessional
If I were a movie, I would be directed by: peter jackson
If I were a book, I would be written by: frank peretti
If I were a food, I would be: chex mix
If I were a place, I would be: a porta potty
If I were a material, I would be: plastic
If I were a taste, I would be: something that people spit out
If I were a scent, I would be: body odor
If I were a religion, I would be: an ali cult
If I were a word, I would be: pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
If I were an object, I would be: the floor cuz i get walked on
If I were a body part I would be: arm pit
If I were a facial expression I would be: expressionless
If I were a subject in school I would be: music theory
If I were a cartoon character I would be: clifford the big red dog
If I were a shape I would be: anarchy sign
If I were a number I would be: 23

travis: you're not heartless!! i'm the jerk that twists it around in my screwed up head and then spouts off crap like i did last night. you're seriously an awesome friend to me. you know how i am about letting people close to me tho. i don't say this often, but i love you. you're a good friend. just ignore me when i'm a jerk. or tell me that i'm being a jerk. :)

i like movies. i'm bored. this is a list of movies that i think you should watch.

the saint (val kilmer... mmmm. :-D)
robin hood: prince of thieves (i LOVE this movie. i should buy it. the soundtrack is AWESOME.)
a beautiful mind (my little brain has trouble comprehending it. but i love it)
10th kingdom (tv miniseries. the best one ever.)
fotr (yeah... i'm one of those geeks... haha)
two towers
extreme days (i laugh my butt off every time i watch it.)
what dreams may come (i need to see that again. once wasn't enough.)
alaska (kid's movie.. hehe)
warriors of virtue (another kids movie)
fight club (i only saw it once, but it was really good)
minority report (again, i only saw it once, but wow....)
family man (kinda cheesy, but the idea behind it is cool)
what a girl wants (hehe i LOVE that movie!!!)
gladiator (i'm not much for violence, but this is an awesome movie)
braveheart (if you haven't seen this you should shoot yourself. or go watch it. either one works... lol)
the patriot (i've only seen it once, but i remember that i really liked it)
the last of the mohicans (my mom hates it, but i love this movie. its really good.)
ghost (chick flick i guess, but still great)
princess mononoke (i borrowed that from lynne, and it was the best anime i've ever seen)
x-men and x2 (i have 2 brothers so i grew up watching stuff like this.... its great!!!)
the ring (i'm not much for scary movies, but that one was really good.)
titan a.e. (its a cartoon, but not necessarily a movie just for kids. its great. i have the soundtrack too.)
almost famous (i can't believe it took me so long to think of that one!! great movie!!!!!!!)
the back to the future trilogy (go buy them on dvd. its great. trust me.)
hook (that one needs no explanation. just watch it. :-D)

ok i'm tired of doing this now. but leave me a comment. tell me what movies i should watch. :)

so i had a great weekend. hanging out with brit, lolly, and jess was great. i'm really gonna miss jess and lolly. they need to come back and visit soon. the 4 of us are DEFINITELY gonna hang out a lot during fall and winter breaks. its fun to know that i'm actually gonna have friends when i go home.... haha jk. i have friends. but yeah. here's some random stuff from the weekend....

Lolly: Do farts have lumps? Ooops, then I have definitely crapped my pants!

Lolly: I'm a DAY tripper

Brit (As Lolly pulls on the towel rack): Don't pull my rack! [i wasn't there for this one, but it still cracks me up)

Lolly: I love cauliflower, even if it does look like genital warts

Jess: Lolly, did u really break his day??? I mean nose???

Tracey: I am NOT a girly girl!!!!

Reno: My phone number is Dog-8-kid!

Lolly is the turd (i can't remember what she is... ahhh!!!). Brit is the turd sucker. Jess is the turd eater. I'm the turd sniffer.

Dragging Greta by a string in the Marc's parking lot, then carrying her around in the store.

The claymation videos that we made on Friday night.

Watching Extreme Days-OH THATS RIGHT YOU PILES WATCHED IT WITHOUT ME!!!! *sniff*

My "i am not a girly girl" monologue (that is very unfortunately on video tape.... for NO ONE but the 4 of us to EVER see.... lol)

Anything involving Greta was good stuff.

Making fun of my cheesecake at lunch....

Lolly is in love.... awwww :)

and finally.... JIM TRAFICANT IS A HOTTIE AND A HALF!!!! and he's all mine... you can have your jafar.... haha

good stuff. good weekend. i love you girly girls!!! <3 <3

so my mom randomly came to visit me for a little bit today. her, vicki wining, and mildred grim were on their way home from the ladies retreat and they stopped to see me. it was nice. mom took my drip candle home (*sniff*) since i can't have it cuz its in a wine bottle. that makes me sad....

i need to start studying for my old testament test on thursday.... yuck...

I TALKED TO MY HEIDI TODAY!!!! she was online when i got back from marc's with brit, lolly, and jess. it was great!! i got to "fill her in" on everything thats been happening with me. i'd been wanting to talk to her about it for awhile, and i was so excited when i got to!! i bawled my eyes out when she got offline, but thats another story.... lol
i'm watching contact on tnt. i like this movie. i haven't seen it for awhile so i only sorta remember whats going on, but its good.
katie and alisa crack me up. i'm definitely requesting them to be my campers again next summer.
i have a headache. but thats ok. i usually have one. i'm gonna go now. i'm walking around with reno while he checks computer labs... woohoo... lol
go central!! :)

i'm talking to travis. cuz he emailed me. and we're having a really good conversation. that makes me happy. cuz i knew i wasn't gonna be able to follow thru with what i said the other day, (last sunday) i'm too much of a dork. me and reno are probly going to the soccer game tomorrow. and going to the dariette on the way. cuz thats good stuff. :)

i spent most of the day with brittany, lolly, and jess. those 3 crack me up. it was great. we made fun videos. that no one will ever see..... haha.

i went to church (undistracted). it was awesome. i'm glad that delight was with me tho, cuz the weather was HORRIBLE on the way back and she definitely helped me a lot, cuz i could barely see the road.

after i got back, i went back up to brit's room to hang out. that was when we made our videos. reno came up after he got back. i think that a good way for me to "test him" is to have him around when i'm with my friends, cuz i go nuts sometimes. like last night during/after celebration, i got reeeeally hyper. and tonight was pretty crazy too. i figure if he still likes me after seeing me like that, i'm good to go!! lol

i like him. (and now everyone who knows me is saying "tracey??? like a boy????? she hates boys!!!!" you shoulda heard lolly when we were talking about it earlier... lol) but yes my friends, its true. i like him. it scares the poop (i'm the turd sniffer!! haha girls) outta me tho. cuz i've never really done this before. i've never felt like this before...

ok so ali monnot is great. we just talked for awhile. these are the "highlights" of our conversation. haha good times with my girl in the hallway under the most hideous mural i've ever seen in my life... oh wait no!!! definitely not worse than the one in el campesino's. so anyway. fun stuff right here...

"communication...vidal in this whole relationship thing."
-ali

"ok so i'm just gonna talk and you tell me when to slow down or whatever."
-ali

"this is the God-to-honest truth."
-ali

"all cuddly-on-the-couch-whats-your-middle-name?"
-ali

"do you know my middle name? do you know my favorite cereal? you don't love me!!"
-ali

"first quote i get from the guy is the epitome of his personality."
-ali

"do you know his favorite cereal?"
"no."
"then you/i don't love him"
-ali, me, then both of us at the same time

"the last time we had this kind of conversation you told me i needed to be more Mennonite."
-ali

"do not fear."
"i don't fear. i have you on my side."
-ali, then me

"i'm so glad that we don't hate each other."
-ali

"i piss people off when i talk."
"and he doesn't know that yet cuz he doesn't know you."
-me, then ali

"keep these. live by them.
-ali

"lightbulbs don't ding."
-me

"dudette lets go get some hot dogs!"
-ali quoting ox

"if i was planning my funeral it would be kosher, but its yours so thats horrible!"
-ali

"alright, anything else you wanna ask the guru?"
-ali

"confession is to catholic church as ask the guru is to boyland."
-ali

"you just said boyland."
-me

"you can send me a copy [of the email] if you want."
-ali

ali-i just put them all in there. they amuse me greatly. :) thanks girl-you seriously keep my head on straight for me. it might fall off or something if you weren't around to kick me in the shins, call me a jerk, and get me back on track. i love you!!!

ok stuff to do... paper to write (i have to plan my funeral... haha), maybe write an email, and i need just a little bit of sleep.. :)

quote of the day:

carynpatriciaf (5:35:10 PM): good...im glad God put me here on this earth for some reason...to make Tracey laugh..i do in fact have a purpose! AMEN!

I'll wait a million years to feel
The way that I feel right now.
And I can't say now its figured out
But everything will work out somehow.

maybe its not directed at me, i dunno. but if it is, then it makes me wanna cry. he brings out the "girl" in me. the one that still holds on to romantic hopes and dreams, while the rest of me says "stupid tracey. such things don't exist."

ThisisLeahRo (10:20:50 AM): tracey, I'm with you... cerealology.... actually, maybe I'll do donutology just to be a little different!! Love you...
relientkbandgeek (10:21:12 AM): haha we can open up a shop--cereal and donuts. and we'll analyze them :-)
ThisisLeahRo (10:21:30 AM): yeah... while we read their butts to tell their fortune!!
ThisisLeahRo (10:21:30 AM): hehe

today's convo of the day... that girl cracks me up, leah i love you!! :)

so i want to get to know him better, but i'm scared. i don't open up easily. and i know that eventually i'll have to. that right there is enough to scare me away from all this. i don't really know him. what makes him different from the other people that i've known? i dunno... this whole thing scares me. i like him. and i'm scared of it...
i definitely think that boys are confusing too, by the way. guys always say that girls are confusing. well you know it goes both ways!!
I MISS MY HEIDI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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today was good. haha i just realized that theres sweet and sour sauce on my shirt from the late night meal... all well...

i miss heidi a lot. there's so much going on right now that i want to talk to her about!!! things are happening like crazy, and its so weird to not be able to just pick up the phone and call her. that girl is gonna get a bajillion page letter from me by the time i'm done.... lol.

its good stuff tho. i'm still scared of it. cuz its really different for me to like someone. especially since i've been so adamant about my anti-boys stance for the last few years. so i dunno... we'll just see where things go i guess.

now to bed with me, i wanna read for a bit before i fall asleep...

"The key to having a good relationship is our ability to allow another person to see us as we are. This usually means lowering the masks we sometimes hide behind and being open, honest, and perhaps even vulnerable about who we really are." -Twists of Faith

thats in esther's profile. she told me to read it after we talked yesterday. and lemme just say it kicked my butt when i read it. wow. thats exactly what travis has been saying to me. and exactly what i'm afraid of. i don't know what i'm getting myself into....

way down in the valley o rare bog rattlin bog... ;)


Your operation! Your heartbeating, complicated, and
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ok so i've had time to think and can explain myself more now. its not that i don't have an awesome time when i'm in kidron, cuz i do. those guys crack me up. and there are definitely times that are just great. but in order to get to those times, i feel like i have to force them to do stuff. i dunno. maybe i'm not making any sense? i don't want anyone to think that i hate them or something, cuz i definitely DON'T! i just want to let them "initiate" things. cuz i'm tired of it. but i don't hate them!

so... other things are happening now, and i'm a little scared. scared might not be the right word. reserved? i dunno.... i've never really dated before. but i like him. and that scares me. it makes me feel vulnerable. (ooo good word usage tracey! woo hoo!!) ok i'm gonna post this, read for a bit, then i'm done working and off to lunch, then psych....

btw i got a 21/25 on my speech in communications, i was excited!! :)

oh yeah-last night was great. we spent about 8 or 9 dollars each, including a movie, popcorn, dinner, and dessert!! bruce almighty was hilarious. and God wore white chucks!! you can't beat that!!

HAPPY SING SILLY CAMP SONGS DAY!!!! sing a silly camp song to yourself today! here's a list of suggestions from ali's journal.
These songs may include but are not limited to ....
this little light of mine
no no never never uh uh uh
meet me in the river
little white box
stayed on
love the lord your God
riii--- rii-riiide on (boogey down and praise the Lord)
an austrian went yodelling
I am a C
the valley song
Jesus' brother Bob
FRUIT of the spirit (He's a peach of a savior...)
etc
etc
ETC!!!!

and you know what? ali forgot one of my favorites. shame on her. THE MEDLEY!! no week at our little mennonite camp is the same w/out the medley!! (especially when you're a counselor and get to be one of the leaders!! woo hoo!!). so yeah. sing a song. a silly song. a silly CAMP song. make yourself happy. and have a good monday :)

i love ali monnot. we're going to a movie tonight. read this.

monogram1 (5:16:36 PM): well I guess it can be the first 'semi-weekly pete and ali's under 10 dollar night out!'
monogram1 (5:16:38 PM): lol
monogram1 (5:16:40 PM): or something
t boredatwork y (5:17:04 PM): lol sounds good to me
monogram1 (5:17:21 PM): s.w.a.p.u.t.d. NIGHT OUT!
monogram1 (5:17:30 PM): lol. swaputd night out
monogram1 (5:17:33 PM): swaputd
monogram1 (5:17:47 PM): sometimes I'm funny... and sometimes I'm so dumb that I'm funny.
t boredatwork y (5:17:51 PM): swaputd
t boredatwork y (5:17:56 PM): i can't pronounce that very well
t boredatwork y (5:17:59 PM): lemme try again
t boredatwork y (5:18:04 PM): sssswwwwaaaappppuuuuttttddd
t boredatwork y (5:18:06 PM): ok i think i got it now
t boredatwork y (5:18:07 PM): lol
monogram1 (5:18:33 PM): :-) I think you just pretend there's no t and then it's swah-put
monogram1 (5:18:41 PM): or swah-pud
t boredatwork y (5:18:49 PM): oo that makes it even easier!!
t boredatwork y (5:18:49 PM): lol
monogram1 (5:18:58 PM): yay!
monogram1 (5:18:59 PM): :-)

we're going to go see bruce almighty at the dollar theater. i haven't seen it yet. its supposed to be hilarious. woo hoo! and i need some happiness, so it'll be good stuff.

i decided something today. i've been thinking about it for awhile. i'm not going to ben's anymore. i'm not going to force travis to talk to me on IM anymore. i'm not going to go to any more soccer games. i'm not going to try to talk them into coming to visit me. i'm done. i feel like my friendship with those guys is totally one-sided. i'm the one that emails, hardly ever getting a response. i'm the one that drives over there to visit. i'm the one that shows up at ben's time after time, even though i tell them that i'm not driving over there any more. well this time i'm really not. unless i get some sort of indication that i'm wanted, i'm done. i'm not going to force them to be friends with me and hang onto friendships if they're not interested. i came to this conclusion earlier today when i IMed travis and he didn't talk. as usual. after awhile he put up an away message, so i IMed him and told him something along the lines of this: i'm not going to force you to talk to me on IM any more. if you want to talk to me, you can IM me, cuz i feel like i make you talk to me when you don't want to... blah blah blah along the lines of that. i told him that i was on my way to work, and if he wanted he could IM me on my work screen name, knowing that he wouldn't. and he didn't. why do i bother? they don't care if i'm there or not. when i am there, i just feel like a 3rd wheel. so i'm done.
and don't think this is gonna be easy for me. this hurts. i'm afraid that i'm gonna break down and not follow through with it, as dumb as that may sound. but i'm tired of trying so hard and feeling like i'm just in the way. travis told me last night that i needed to be more open and tell people that i'm mad or hurt. well right now i'm both.
so. until i hear differently from a nussbaum or a lehman, this is it. i'm done. i'm hurting and no one cares.

i'm in kidron. i wasn't planning on being here so long, but you know me. i always end up at ben's when i'm out here.
i got up at like 10 till 9 this morning, then went and watched some CC with reno. my little brother got a PR, so that was cool. tim and i hung out with craig for awhile, then he left, so tim and i ate lunch and hung out in myers until 2 (cuz he couldn't be in my dorm till 2). then we watched what a girl wants cuz travis IMed me the program that i needed to watch it. i like that movie. HEIDI CALLED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was super excited. i love my heidi. :) she's going to sweden now, not mexico. slight change in plans.... lol. so then tim and i went to camp. i'm gonna finish this when i get back on campus...

ok. i'm back. the 50th anniversary thing at camp was nice. i'm glad that i went. i saw fun people. i mentioned to deb that i'm interesting in shadowing a director for a week next year, or maybe even co-directing. i dunno. i definitely want to shadow tho. i called ben after all the stuff was over, cuz it was only like 8:15. so i went over there around 8:30 or 8:45 (after a nice public fight with my mom....). i was there till a little after 11. brad had about a million people over watching movies, so i sat out in the other room with travis. it was fun. but i dunno... he can see thru me. not a lot of people can. i think that might be a bad thing...

all well. i'm gonna get off here now, maybe sleep a little. i'm tired and sleep sounds good right now.

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You are... The Pure Child. Pure and childish, your heart strays not towards the sinister evils of the world. You care deeply for peace, love, and goodwill towards all others, even if they don't deserve it. You practice truth, honesty, and respect. But that cannot shield your fragile nature. Through that barricade of happiness and glee lies a weak heart. You are often terribly hurt by things that most people would call irrelevant. But unlike many you don't use that pain to create more evils. Perhaps your more mature than your peers think. You know that when your knocked down, you have to get straight back up. And that's exactly what you try to do. There may be moments of hopelessness, but your heart urges to get up with a smile. Your childish nature may become annoying at times, yet you know that you must live life to the fullest... Or die in self pity.

car accidents suck. blech. i hate them. they shouldn't be allowed to happen.
uncle jared (jared witmer) and chris erb (who i don't really know) were in an accident tonight. jared just told me about it. thats not cool. here's what happened....

jared (11:48:45 PM): hey tracy
me (11:48:52 PM): *tracEy
me (11:48:53 PM): :-)
me (11:48:59 PM): hey jared whats up?
jared (11:49:18 PM): ehh a head on collision with a truck going 50 miles an hour
me (11:49:27 PM): !!!!! are you ok??????
jared (11:49:29 PM): ya'
me (11:49:35 PM): what happened??
jared (11:49:41 PM): im just really banged up and sore
jared (11:49:52 PM): both the mercury sable and the truck are totaled
me (11:49:57 PM): who was driving?
jared (11:49:59 PM): it happened in holmes county
jared (11:50:01 PM): chris erb
jared (11:50:02 PM): hes ok
me (11:50:03 PM): is he ok??
me (11:50:04 PM): ok good
jared (11:50:35 PM): we hit gravel on a turn and fishtailed going left of center
jared (11:50:45 PM): then smashed into an oncoming truck
jared (11:50:58 PM): i blacked out after seeing the airbag come out
jared (11:51:21 PM): then i woke up, opened the door, went into the ditch and layed in a field until 911 came
me (11:51:37 PM): you're scaring me.... i'm glad you're ok
jared (11:51:42 PM): im fine
jared (11:51:58 PM): i have a huge seatbelt abrasion across me chest and stomache
jared (11:52:01 PM): stomach
me (11:52:41 PM): was anyone seriously injured, or is everyone pretty much ok?
jared (11:52:57 PM): the guys in the truck were ok just some cuts and bruises
me (11:53:28 PM): i hate accidents. they suck
jared (11:53:37 PM): seatbelts, airbags, and God are a good combo
me (11:53:47 PM): amen to that
jared (11:54:03 PM): welllll i feel like sleeping
jared (11:54:13 PM): painkillers do eventually wear off
me (11:54:15 PM): get rest rest is good
jared (11:54:50 PM): ya it is
me (11:59:12 PM): go sleep and get healthy
jared (11:59:34 PM): i will
jared (11:59:37 PM): ta ta
me (11:59:42 PM): g'night!

uck. i'm glad they're both ok.

i'm done now. i should go to bed since i'm sick... hehe kelli brought me starbucks-a tazoberry creme frap. good stuff! she said that it might not be the best thing for being sick, but it made me laugh which is good. :) reno's probly gonna get sick now cuz he was in here for awhile watching a movie with me.

ok i'm done now. for real this time. tim's gonna be here tomorrow. so is craig. both my brothers in one place. woo hoo good stuff!! :)

ok so i'm sick. i admit it. i'll stop denying it. i hate being sick. BLAH!!!!!!!

travis gets to me. he knows what to say to make me think. we had a serious conversation tonight. it bugs me how well he can read me; how much he knows about me. not bugs, thats not the right word. scares is a better one. i'm definitely more of a keep-to-myself-and-don't-open-up-to-people person. i haven't always been that way. but in the last few years enough crap has happened that i don't trust people any more. but there's something about him-he gets me to open up to him. it scares me. how do i know he's not gonna turn around and do what everyone else did to me? i dunno... i really opened up tonight. and now i wish i wouldn't have. i dunno... i don't like me. thats what it basically comes down to.

oh yeah one more thing-mom found another gray hair on my head today. that would be number two. yes my friends, two. i'm 18. that isn't cool. stupid stress....

oh i forgot--i went to the varsity soccer game at central last night. good stuff. i went with staci lindstrom, and it was awesome to hang out with her again. i hadn't seen her since march, so that was cool. if kelli goes to bolivia, then me and staci are gonna be in the same boat.
but yeah. it was fun. i like going to soccer games, even tho i hardly ever actually watch the game... or do my homework while i'm at the game. lol. ok i need to get back to my 6 page paper about joseph for old testament...

allow me to amend that-I'M NOT SICK I'M NOT GONNA BE SICK I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BE SICK THEREFORE I AM NOT SICK!!!! i don't care what reno says. i'm not sick. :)

mom came for lunch today. that was nice. i'm not homesick at all, but it was cool to see her. she brought me lots of fun stuff too, which was great. :)

there's a cross country meet here this weekend. tim's running in it. i'm gonna watch him, then we're gonna hang out for a bit (i'm gonna send him to PGB for a shower, lol). then we're going to camp for the 50th anniversary dinner. should be fun stuff. he's excited about seeing craig. those two scare me when they're together... lol.

i really should be working on my paper instead of sitting here writing in this. uck. i have my english almost done, then i have that nice 6 page old testament paper... oh joy...

i'm getting sick. i don't like it. i can't breathe thru my nose. its not fun. i'm hoping that i'm gonna wake up tomorrow and magically feel better. wouldn't that be cool?? :)

sarah bernier called me tonight! i was so excited! i haven't talked to her since the staff reunion. it was awesome to catch up with her. :)

ok i need to get to bed, its 20 til 2... :)

back to story time (as if anyone actually cared...)

craig showed us where the concerts were gonna be, then we went back and sat down near the cafeteria. for a really long time. lol. we sat there and talked-well mostly they sat there and made fun of me. it was funny tho. juan (one of craig's...hmm.. what do you call them?? suitemates? roommates? oh well i give up...) gave me a PBJ sandwich, so i didn't have to pay to eat lunch-oh happy day! :) then this guy came over. craig found this funny, he was laughing at me the whole time behind tim's back. tim was the guy. so yeah-he came over and basically hit on me. it was definitely not something i'm used to have happening to me, lol. so 11:30 rolled around, and craig, reno, and tim all went into the cafeteria to eat. i tried to call travis, but no one answered at that apartment. a little bit later, jeremiah came in. he didn't see me at first so i said "jeremiah wagner!" he was so funny, he ran across the room all excited to see me, and gave me a huge hug. i missed that kid. he went in to eat then, and craig came back out a little later. i was glad that he came out before tim, cuz i didn't want to be by myself with him... haha. when reno came out we went up to craig's apartment so he could change into some "volleyball clothes", which i found amusing. then he played VB and reno and i went over to watch us some concerts. the first band, johnny come lately, was good. i really liked them.

i'm tired. i don't feel like doing this right now. i'll do it in the morning. or maybe while i'm at work. all well. sometime later.

woo hoo i did it!! i now have comments and i'm excited!!! :)

good weekend. this is gonna be a long post most likely so get comfy.

reno and i left around 5:30 on friday. i went to the bank, got gas in dalton (I HATE THAT FUEL MART ITS SO EXPENSIVE!!!!), and got to travis' right on time. we were there for a bit, then i followed travis and 2B to tim's house. he has quite a drive to church every sunday!! from tim's, i followed them to mt. vernon. this is great, but only a few people will get it: we drove thru funk, ohio. but wait, it gets better. we were on snoddy road!!! i was yelling out the window "mandy mcmillen i love you!!!!" (reno probly thought i was nuts, lol). we stopped at a mcdonalds in loudonville on the way, and then went to some driving range or something in mt vernon to meet tim's older brother matt, and follow him to campus. i got seperated from them in mt. vernon, but luckily caught up to them again soon. which is good. cuz all i know in mt. vernon is my grandma's house, and thats in the country! when we got to the college, we headed to matt's apartment. craig showed up there to get me and reno, so we went out to my car and got mine and reno's stuff, then went to craig's apartment. then (i say then a lot... all well) they walked me over to where i was gonna be staying. i met them, put my stuff upstairs, and they invited me to stay for a movie. there were so many people in that apartment... i was kinda scared. i think craig knew that, and he asked me if i wanted to go back to his apartment with him and reno. i very gratefully said yes. so we went back, ordered a pizza, and watched 'catch me if you can' cuz i hadn't seen it before and i wanted to. craig cracks me up. he can't sit still, first of all. it was hilarious. after the movie craig walked me back to the girls' apartment cuz i didn't know how to get there. (i never did learn how the whole weekend... lol). after studying half-heartedly for a little bit, i went to sleep around 1 or 1:30. bethany woke me up at 9:20, and i laid in bed until 9:30. then i got up and called heidi on bethany's cell phone (i was super-excited when she told me to do that the night before when i mentioned i was gonna call her!!) we only talked for a little bit cuz she was at a friend's house. i cried. i said i wasn't going to, but i did. bethany was real cool about it when i got off the phone and was bawling. i calmed myself down, then went downstairs cuz craig and reno were picking me up at 10. when they came, we went over to the cafeteria to find that it didn't open till 11:30. so we had almost an hour and a half to kill.

i don't feel like typing this all out right now. i'll do more later...

i talked to travis yesterday. i was scared. it took me about half an hour after he got on to "muster the courage" to IM him. but everything's ok now. i'm not gonna go into detail about it. i just wanted to say that things are ok. which is good. cuz i hated the thought of him mad at me.

kelli just IMed me and invited me to dinner tonight. woo hoo!! good stuff! real food! :)

i was gonna write an actual post, but i get off work in 10 minutes so i'm just gonna stop for now. :)

heidi leaves in 4 days. i'm not a happy camper.

i don't even know what to write. i just caused one of the people that i care about the most in this world to get mad at me. travis has always been an awesome friend to me. always. and then i go and am a jerk and he gets mad. i mean it wasn't all my fault, but i didn't handle the situation very well. telling someone that you don't want to talk to them right now is NEVER a good thing. as soon as i typed the words, i wished there was some kind of "recall button" so i could take them back. i've never snapped on him before. ever. he's been there for me when i needed him (with a few exceptions, but he's a guy, what can i say?). and i just messed everything up because i have a freaking temper, and i let it get the best of me. i don't even know what to do now. i hate the thought of hurting travis. or any of my friends for that matter. but i've never taken anger out on him before. i don't know what to do... i can't believe i treated him like that. i'm a jerk and i really hate myself. i need a good cry right now. i'm gonna go lay in my bunk and cry.

roar. this job is boring. i finished my psych paper, which is good. its not the best paper i've ever written, but i was starting to repeat myself, so i just ended it. only 40 minutes till someone comes to replace me and i can EAT FOOD, otherwise known as lunch. then all i have to do is go to psych, then i have the rest of the night for whatever!! i don't have anything to do for tomorrow--we don't have english tomorrow, i don't have any PW homework, and i should probly read for my OT a little. but i can pretty much do that tomorrow. i think i'm gonna go to b/s again tonight (that seems to be the "cool" thing to call it, and i don't wanna be uncool do i?? lol). i called kelli last night and told her that i needed a ride if she was going and if not i needed tim's number to call him and tell him that i need a ride. cuz i have no idea how to get there.. lol.

plans for sonfest are falling into place. i'm getting excited. :) seeing relient k in concert is always cause for great excitement. :) mom sent me 4 different sets of directions in an email... lol. i haven't decided how i'm going yet. i may go rt 30 to rt 3 and follow tim miller, his brother, and travis down. but thats a little bit out of the way, so we'll see. i have a few days... i'm glad that travis and tim are going down the night before too. i hate being in places where i don't know anyone. i'm a little nervous about staying with someone that i don't know, but thats ok. i'm a big girl now... lol.

well. i think thats just about it for me... i have no life cuz i'm a loser... half an hour till i can go eat lunch :)

i wanted to see what i would get if i picked "boo!" for every question! :)

You are the Ancient Booer. You are the ugliest
thing imaginable, and often appear in people's
nightmares. Boo!

"Boo! Boo! Rubbish, filth, slime, muck!
Boo! Boo! Boooooo!"


What character from The Princess Bride are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

hehehe :)

not like i fear for my safety on campus or anything, but i really like it when a security guard sticks his head in the door to one of the labs on sundays. i work 4 hours straight every sunday. i'm in this little office sandwiched between two computer labs. it just brings a smile to my face when a guard pokes his head in the door and waves at me, just to make sure that everything is going ok. ok. thats that... now i REALLY gotta stop procrastinating and work on that paper!! all i have so far is a title... lol

and the weekend is almost over... blech. i had a good weekend tho!! :) it was very much one of those spur-of-the-moment weekends. i decided at about 4 or 5 yesterday that i was gonna go to the soccer game at central. so i left here around 6:20, stopped at massillon wal-mart to buy a pair of jeans (for $13, woo hoo!!) and i got mystery men for $4 cuz i love that movie. :) so i go on to kidron. i'm considered an adult now cuz i'm in college. blah. so i had to pay $5 to get in instead of $3. that was sad. lol. i saw katie troyer (one of my awesome campers at jr hi camp), so i called her name, and the next thing i know she's running at me full speed and jumps on me. it was hilarious, that girl cracks me up!! so then we went to find alisa, cuz she cracks me up too. it was a fun game, although i didn't watch much of it. i had to do stuff like run away from katie and alisa cuz they were spitting soggy popcorn at me (ahh the memories... lol). central lost, which sucked. but it was still a fun game. arguing with travis is always fun. :) i followed ben back to his house cuz it was only like 8:45 and i didn't want to go back to malone yet. i ended up going to wooster with him, travis, matt something, and isaiah schloneger. it was fun. well mostly. there was some big thing going on between those guys and then a group of girls--the guys hid one of the girls wallets and didn't tell her, then gave it back to her at scoops and she was really pissed... it was really awkward for me, cuz i didn't really know anyone in the group except for ben and travis, and aimee landry. all the girls ended up leaving, and we went to this ice cream place called "scoops" and ordered the super scooper. its a hugeomongous bowl filled with 15 scoops (and not little scoops, big ones!!) of ice cream. and if you order it, you get your picture taken and hung on the wall in the "hall of fame." so the 5 of us ate that. and wow, let me tell you, that was a LOT of ice cream... lol. after that we went to wal-mart. i bought some fun tony the tiger pajama pants in the men's section. lol. i fell asleep on the way back to ben's-like i was out cold. so i decided to sleep at ben's and come back here in the morning, cuz i was way too tired to drive. i ended up staying up a little later than i thought to watch 2 weeks notice, but it was a fun movie. then i went to church at chestnut ridge. it was the first time in my life that i've ever worn jeans and a t-shirt to church... it was really weird. i'm glad that i stopped to buy jeans at wal-mart yesterday, cuz the ones that i was wearing had a hole in the knee... lol. so then i ended up staying for lunch cuz they had a carry-in meal cuz marvin was installed as pastor of their church (i thought that "installed" was a very odd way of phrasing that, but thats what the bulletin said...). so i was gonna go back after that, but they were like "come watch 2 towers!!" so i did. i went back to ben's with him, brad, travis, and tim miller. i only got to see about 45 minutes of it tho, cuz then i had to get back here for work. and thats where i am now, work... so boring.
now i'm gonna go, cuz i have to write a 2-3 page paper for psychology on whether or not i'd want to be kept on live support if i experienced a severe injury... yuck!! lol
SONFEST IS IN 6 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :)
but heidi leaves a week from today. thats so horribly sad its not even funny.... :(

me: (5:13:25 PM): its like travis with the spider all over again.....
me: (5:13:30 PM): except its sarah and the bathroom
sarah eades: (5:13:32 PM): LOL
sarah eades: (5:13:33 PM): yes
sarah eades: (5:13:35 PM): exactly
sarah eades: (5:13:40 PM): only ... i'm not as afraid of the bathrooms
sarah eades: (5:13:44 PM): *as he was of the spider
me: (5:13:52 PM): i think you are
me: (5:13:52 PM): lol
sarah eades: (5:14:19 PM): you saw his eyes...
sarah eades: (5:14:26 PM): i am not that scared!
sarah eades: (5:14:26 PM): lol
me: (5:14:39 PM): i can't see your eyes, so i dunno
me: (5:14:39 PM): lol
sarah eades: (5:14:45 PM): hehe

and thats all i need to say about that... lol

travis came!!!! he got here around 6:40 or so, and left around 10:30. it was awesome to hang out with him, i've really missed him this last month or so, however long its been since i'd seen him. :)

i talked to heidi for awhile tonight. i really don't know what i'm going to do. go crazy thats about it....

oh i forgot: i'm glad that i went to that bible study. i was actually kinda on the nervous side about it, cuz a lot of stuff has happened with joe and them, and i was kinda in the middle of it for awhile. not cool. but yeah, it was awesome, and i'm definitely going back. there is one problem: joe. is he gonna hate me if he finds out?? :-/ i hope not. that would be sad. really sad. anyway. babbling.... i'm gonna go. i have a boring job. a really boring job. blah.

TRAVIS AND BEN MIGHT COME TO VISIT TONIGHT!!!! that is seriously the highlight of my "life at college", lol. :-D only 2 more hours of work....

random conversation of the week, this is awesome...
(craig is craig strasbaugh, just fyi)

craig (11:11:36 PM): guess what, guess what
relientkbandgeek (11:11:40 PM): what what?
craig (11:11:47 PM): i lost another half of a toe nail
relientkbandgeek (11:12:26 PM): another half?? did you already lose a half? and how did you do it??
craig (11:13:06 PM): i lost two halfs of toe nails before the staff reunion, but this half I lost playing basketball
relientkbandgeek (11:13:52 PM): so how many toe nails do you have left now?? lol
craig (11:14:03 PM): 8.5
craig (11:14:06 PM): lol
craig (11:14:15 PM): does Tim have IM
craig (11:14:22 PM): ha that rhymes
relientkbandgeek (11:14:27 PM): that entire section is going in my quote book... lol
relientkbandgeek (11:14:39 PM): yeah, but he can't remember his password,
craig (11:14:39 PM): lol
relientkbandgeek (11:15:00 PM): so i'm gonna call him and make him a new one (cuz he doesn't know how)
craig (11:15:23 PM): all he has to do is hit the forgot password icon
craig (11:15:32 PM): they'll email the password to him
relientkbandgeek (11:16:00 PM): well that would work, except when he got his name he didn't have email yet, so i used my address to get it for him. and that address doesn't exist anymore
relientkbandgeek (11:16:00 PM): lol
craig (11:16:10 PM): lol
craig (11:16:17 PM): you crack me up
relientkbandgeek (11:16:36 PM): i'm not a very smart person, ok?? lol
craig (11:16:48 PM): thats not what cracks me up
craig (11:16:58 PM): you just humor me
relientkbandgeek (11:17:03 PM): i'm glad :-)
relientkbandgeek (11:18:04 PM): this might sound kinda odd, but do you happen to know tim's email address?? lol
craig (11:19:00 PM): (insert little brothers email here... you don't need to know it, lol...)
craig (11:19:02 PM): lol
relientkbandgeek (11:19:06 PM): thanks :-)
craig (11:19:17 PM): c what i mean
relientkbandgeek (11:19:35 PM): yeah after i asked that, i was like "hmmm.. this is gonna prove his point..."
relientkbandgeek (11:19:41 PM): i'm just rather scatter brained.... lol
craig (11:20:59 PM): but you're allowed
relientkbandgeek (11:21:28 PM): thats good :-)
craig (11:21:45 PM): guess what i'm listening to
relientkbandgeek (11:21:50 PM): what?
craig (11:21:56 PM): Moulan Rouge
relientkbandgeek (11:22:10 PM): i've never seen that
relientkbandgeek (11:22:15 PM): or heard much from it
craig (11:22:26 PM): the soundtrack is awesome, but the movie is wierd
craig (11:22:37 PM): you should watch it though, you'll like
relientkbandgeek (11:23:36 PM): yeah i know a lot of people who like it, i just never rented it
craig (11:24:03 PM): i'm sure its around your dorm somewhere
relientkbandgeek (11:25:13 PM): good point!! i can be cheap!! lol
craig (11:25:18 PM): anyway, my first day of class is tomorrow, so i should head for bed
craig (11:25:21 PM): me too
relientkbandgeek (11:25:35 PM): ugh class... i have some of those... lol
relientkbandgeek (11:25:37 PM): have fun :-)
craig (11:25:42 PM): u 2
craig (11:25:47 PM): ttyl
relientkbandgeek (11:25:49 PM): ttyl!
craig signed off at 11:25:56 PM.

travis is probly gonna come visit tomorrow!!! whoopee!!!! i think he said that ben's coming too. i said that was ok, as long as ben was nice to me. :) its good tho, cuz it was incentive for me to finish decorating. now my little tiny computer area is all filled with fun pictures and stuff :)

one more random quote, then i'm off to bed...
tracey (to joe finch, who pretty much only wears black: "if i bought you a pink t-shirt, would you wear it??"
joe: "I HATE EMO KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i found that really amusing, lol

ok g'night.... :)

i was cleaning out my email inbox and i found this very random survey

SNACKS

1. White, dark, or milk chocolate? milk
2. Favorite form of a gummy (i.e., worm, bear, coke)? coke?? gummy coke?? anyway. i love sour patch kids :)
3. Favorite candy bar? the cookies 'n cream ones
4. Favorite fruit? peaches
5. Favorite veggie? brocolli
6. Favorite kind of candy to receive on Valentine's Day? sour patch kids
7. Potato chips or pretzels? chips

APPETIZERS AND SIDES

8. Nachos or quesedillas? nachos
9. Do you prefer a light appetizer, such as chips and salsa, or a full on meal before your actual meal? appetizer
10. Onion rings or French fries? french fries
11. Curly fries or traditional straight? either one
12. If you were a salsa, would you be mild, medium, or hot? mild
13. What dressing do you prefer on salads- Italian, French, ranch, thousand island, or bleu cheese? italian
14. Baked potato or mashed potatoes? i love potatoes. in any shape or form. :)
15. Baked beans or coleslaw? coleslaw
16. Do you always have ketchup with your fries, or do you use anything else? ketchup and mustard mixed, or mayo is good

MAIN DISHES

17. What is your favorite homemade food? grandma's cheese potatoes
18. Fried rice or steamed rice? ???
19. What do you usually order when you go to your favorite fast-food restaurant? chicken sandwich of some form
20. What do you put on your hamburger? i'm not picky, i don't care
21. How do you like your steak cooked? well done
22. Turkey or ham? ham
23. What do you usually order when you're at your favorite Chinese restaurant? my family does the whole buffet thing, so i don't order
24. Do you like casseroles? What's your favorite? not really, but i'll eat them
25. Are you a meatloaf person? my momma makes good meatloaf :)
26. What do you like on your pizza? mmmmm ham and pineapple
27. Favorite seafood dish? shrimp or salmon
28. Ribs or steak? steak
29. Chicken or beef? chicken
30. What's your favorite restaurant? max and erma's
31. What do you put on your chili? crackers
32. Favorite soup? brocolli cheese
33. Garlic bread or dinner rolls? rolls

BEVERAGES

34. What drink do you almost always order when you go to a 'sit-down' restaurant? water or pepsi
35. Favorite sport drink? gatorade
36. Favorite flavor of milkshake? EGG NOG AT MCDs AT CHRISTMAS TIME!!! :-D
37. If you could have a smoothie right now, what would you put in it? fruit... lol
38. Favorite carbonated drink? pepsi
39. Rootbeer or cream-soda? cream soda
40. Sprite or 7-up? 7 up
41. Pepsi or coke? pepsi
42. Do you like sno-cones? If so, what flavor? yup, just not grape
43. Fruit punch or lemonade? fruit punch
44. Do you add sugar to your iced tea? i don't like tea

DESSERTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

45. Favorite kind of cookie? the ones that my mom makes when she just throws random things in the bowl :)
46. Favorite kind of Mcflurry/blizzard? rice krispies... lol jk i haven't actually tried it, it sounds gross
47. What do you like on your ice cream sundae? whatever
48. Favorite kind of ice-cream? superman
49. Favorite kind of cake? whatever
50. Favorite kind of pie? peach
51. Chocolate or vanilla pudding? either one. but if i'm with my little brother, definitely chocolate :)

well that was fun.... now i'm hungry and am going to go eat dinner. lol

brb... yeah and then 2 hours later.... BOYS ARE BAD!!! i need to remember that, cuz every once in awhile i start to think differently...
i was up way too late last night. actually this morning. 5:30. wow. besides for prom and 30 hour famine lockins, thats the earliest i've ever stayed up. lol.
everyone's moving back into the dorms. it was nice to have hardly anyone around this weekend. nice and quiet.
10 things i hate about you is a fun movie. i'm watching it on usa. i think i'm gonna get addicted to having cable, and then miss it when i'm at home. i've never had cable before.....

ok this was a pointless post... lol

oh i'm going to bible study at the moore's tonight. hrmm.. should be interesting. i'm still a little scared of their family.... lol

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	High
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

more fun quizzes... i'm such a dork when its 3:30 am!! lol

you ROCK! you know alot about RK. and hey i don't
blame you so do i! ya gotta love 'em! they're
great and plus! they love God! which totally
Rocks, i hope u do too, i know i do.


How much do you know about Relient K?
brought to you by Quizilla


You are "Softer To Me"!


What Relient K song are you?
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YOU ARE BRIAN PITTMAN!!!!! You are a flaming
hottie who's really really sweet. Everyone
loves you dude. Rock on.


Which member of Relient K are you?
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Brian Pittman


Which Relient K guy are you most compatable with?
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Breakdown


Which Relient K Song Are You?
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ok i'm done now, i promise.... haha

haha i couldn't resist ;)


The places that youve come to fear the most
this is a song to someone but its gonna be to you..
if youd only understand youre beautiful.. ahh..
its such a shame.


what dashboard confessional song are you?
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"No one should ever feel the way that I feel
now." You are "Saints and
Sailors." You've recently had your heart
broken by someone that led you on with a
facade, someone that acted like someone they
weren't. But you saw right through that, didn't
you? Well, in the end anyway. For right now,
you just want to stay in your place and wallow
in your misery.


What Dashboard Confessional song are you? (now with images! more questions/results soon to come!)
brought to you by Quizilla


But for now i'll look so longingly wait up for you
to want me for you to need me. for you to
notice me. I'm starting to fasion an idea in
my head. Where I would impress you with every
single word I said Would come out insightful or
brave or smooth or charming and you'd want to
call me.~ For You To Notice


What Dashboard Confessional song are you?
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Your the average fan.. you like them a lot. but you
wouldnt stalk him in order to smell him lol.
mm.. you enjoy their music.. Go you!


What type of Dashboard Confessional fan are you?
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