here are some random quotes that kelli and i found last night that amuse me much:

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons!
For you are crunchy
And taste good with ketchup

Sign on baby's bib: SPIT HAPPENS

I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...

Look out for #1. Don't step in #2 either

Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved

"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world."
- Dave Barry.

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they fly by."
- Douglas Adams.

"Clean laundry helps the confidence level, which helps the self image, which helps um, you win games, which makes you rich, which leads to greed, which leads to more money!!!, Which causes immense spending, which then triggers high anxiety, which causes a heart attack at the age of 31 and puts you in a coma for 10 years while you lose all of your money and you start at the beginning again!"
--Benjer Petersen

"This morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it."
--unknown

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window
--Steve Wozniak

To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
To the plumber, any liquid in the glass is potential income.
(With thanks to John Pettitt and Ed O'Connell)

It happens. Sometimes people just explode. Natural causes.
from Repo Man

"My fellow Americans. I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes." --President Reagan, before a scheduled radio broadcast, unaware that the microphone was already on

The best thing about Alzheimer’s is : You can hide your own Easter eggs. - Gramps

One day your prince will come, mine just took a wrong turn got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light and dark side, and it binds the universe together

When you're a fat little kid, there are no more see-saws...only catapults

"Life is a role of toilet paper; long and useful"

All my hard work has boiled down to two things "May I take your order" and "Would you like fries with that"

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
and all the kings’ horses and all the kings’ men...
ate scrambled eggs for 2 weeks

I have the body of a god... unfortunately its Buddha -Abigail Silverman-

ok so i got a little carried away.. but i find them amusing!!! lol