you thought i was done for the day? ha. just wait...

sometimes i really miss heidi a lot. well actually all the time. but sometimes it just hits me. my best friend is in sweden. i'm not gonna see her till august. and even then, there's still the whole thing with her living in cincinatti.

*i miss being able to call her whenever i want
*i miss talking to her period!
*i miss calling her while i clean my room. i never get that done these days, its too boring!
*i miss the june bugs
*i miss her understanding the blue funk days
*i miss our online bathrooms
*and our non-online chatrooms
*i have nowhere to hide from people online without her.
*every time i go past a mcdonalds in between home and camp, i think of the time she came home with me from camp and was like "is that the one that you work at?" at every single mcdonalds that we passed.
*i miss being at alive with her, shannon, and christy
*i miss being at ben's house with her. it makes me sad to be around the boys without her. we were always there for each other when the boys were being dumb, and i feel so alone now without her...
*i miss sitting under the table at ben's house talking
*i miss thrift shopping with her
*i miss stealing fire trucks from little kids with her and shannon :)
*i even miss her stupid computer that always messes up
*i miss her old car that died when the deer attacked it
*i remember the night we drove all over canton trying to find joe smith. we ended up in massillon, haha. that night was a classic.
*i remember the night we slept in christy ullinger's trailer. we looked at bridal magazines :)
*then the next morning, after christy left, we totally rearranged the words on her refrigerator into a bunch of random sentences that made no sense
*i miss watching the princess bride and holding my breath during the quicksand part
*i miss watching tv in the bathroom of her church
*i miss daddy kalous talking to me on the phone for 5 minutes before he'd give it to heidi
*i remember the first time we really talked. summer after our sophomore year. i was sitting on the bridge at camp being depressed, and she came over and sat down. we talked for the next like 2 hours straight. that was what started it all...
*i miss our bridge talks. and our dog house talks.
*i remember when she had a real bad asthma attack during youth camp last summer. i'd noticed for a few minutes that she seemed to be having trouble, so we went outside, and then it was horrible. i was so scared, and there was nothing i could do but sit and watch nurse mom and deb take care of it. after heidi was carried down to the nurses' station i just ran into (nurse) mom's arms and bawled my eyes out.
*i remember skipping like every activity that day and just laying in the bed in the nurse's station with her, talking and laughing
*i remember the tapes that she's made for me. they're so funny to listen to. in the one, she tells me the names of all her cows, and talks about their personalities. its hilarious. :)
*i remember the cd that i was gonna make for her of me talking. it was almost done, and then my mom wiped the computer..... lol
*i miss talking to her about boys. i was never one to talk about boys much, but when i did, it was to her. she knew about every boy i ever liked, and vice versa
*i want her to meet janson. i hate that i have two people who mean so much to me, and they can't even meet each other until august.
*she is one of the few people in this world that i can cry in front of and not care. i don't even try to hold it in for her. i miss being able to just cry and not care
*i remember our friends couch. ha. that was back in the day, like freshman year
*her church used to always get to youth retreat late cuz of how far away it was. every year, i'd turn around like 6 million times, waiting for her to get there. and then i'd run to the back, not caring what else was going on
*i loved the week that we both worked at camp. i loved being able to just go into her room and hang out whenever i had free time, whether she was there or not
*i remember the drive to alive. haha. that was my first drive to somewhere that i wasn't totally sure where i was going
*haha even better---i remember getting lost on the way home from camp 2 summers ago cuz we stopped in belden village to see joe and i had no idea where i was going
*i remember blasting sadie hawkins dance while we were waiting in the really long line of cars at alive
*i can't hear our (heidi, shannon, and me) song (sugar dodododododo oh honey honey dodododododo you are my candy girl, and you got me wanting you) without crying. it played a couple weeks ago while i was at friendly's with janson and i went to the bathroom so he wouldn't see me crying
*i just miss her. i know she's doing awesome things over there, i know she is. God is using her in ways that i can't even begin to imagine. i don't know... i miss her so much. its hard.