i shouldn't feel like this. i have no reason to feel like this. and yet, i still feel like this almost every night. tonight its just worse than its ever been before. i can't stop crying. i've spent a lot of time in the last half hour or so reading old AIM conversations that are saved in my deadAIM log. i feel like i'm being lied to sometimes. and i hate myself a lot. but oh well. i'll suck it up and plaster on a smile so everyone thinks that i'm ok. so here goes.... :)