sitting around doing nothing... i should be packing, but i think i'm almost done. i just need to pack up my computer, finish washing my sheets, and go buy shampoo and crap like that. all well.
had lunch in smithville (i am SO tired of eating at the barn!!!) with my grandparents yesterday. i don't feel like writing right now, so i'm just gonna stop... maybe more after work tonight. i close with kurt. yippee...

today was a good day. i hung out with jenny all day. i went over there around 2 or so, and left around 11. we went garage sale-ing, lol. and we went to dollar general-where i saw my girls!! jordan and taylor. the 2 cutest girls in the world! they weren't at church on sunday so i didn't get to see them then. anyway. then we went to pick up boston from day care. doggy day care. lol. we rented a movie (what a girl wants). we watched like an hour of it, then went to mcdonalds to meet taylor there at 6:30. i managed to fall down in the grass and get a nice grass stain on my knee while jenny was changing. i was playing with boston and i didn't know the grass was that wet.... lol. so we met taylor, and i ended up clocking in and working for 5 or 10 minutes cuz they were freaking swamped with like 3 new people on counter who didn't know what they were doing. so i grabbed a shirt out of the office, clocked in, and helped get them caught back up. we got to lazy bean around 6:55. its a really fun little cafe. i wish i had known it was there before now. but i don't think its been there long. maybe just this summer? i dunno. but its cool. the concert was fun. i've never really seen jeremiah drum before, except like 2 or 3 years ago when i didn't really know who he was, i just saw his band at punk rock prom. he's really good. they played some fun songs that i actually knew. jenny, taylor, and i sat at a table and colored. not the whole time, but for part of it. it was fun. i randomly found some twist-up crayons in my book bag. i crocheted thru most of the concert. taylor kept looking at me and cracking up. but hey, it gives me something to do. i hate just sitting still doing nothing. thats why i crochet. lol.
after the concert a guy came up to me, tapped my arm, and said "i'll see you next week?" he looked a little familiar, but i really had no idea who he was or where i was gonna see him. i tried not to seem rude, but i really didn't know. he told me he'd dropped jeremiah off at my graduation party, and then i remembered. i felt bad that i didn't. he remembered my name and everything, and i didn't know his... but there was a lot of stuff happening when i met him. (it was at my graduation party, i met a lot of people that day). i still felt bad tho. its cool to know that i know someone else on campus. i know like 5 people now... lol
i talked to kurt for a sec when we were at mcdonalds. we're meeting at 8:30 for breakfast on sunday morning before we go to church. that means i have to get up even earlier than planned... i might actually have to go to bed tomorrow night... lol.
i got an email from travis tonight!!!! i was so excited when i opened my email and saw it!! there's an internet cafe where he is in africa, so he emailed me! that made my night. it made up for stupid people, not mentioning any names. sometimes i just wish i knew what was going on....
well i'm done for now. oh wait one more thing. this is my current favorite song, i love it. its awesome. its exactly how i feel right now.

For You To Notice by Dashboard Confessional

I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
Where I would impress you
With every single word I said
Would come out insightful or brave or smooth or charming
And you'd want to call me
And I would be there every time
You'd need me
I'd be there every time...
But for now I'll look so longingly
Waiting...
For you to want me,
For you need me,
For you to notice me

ok now i'm getting off, since no one's online to talk to anyway...

by the way, 31 days till heidi leaves...

i'm closing tonight. blah. i was supposed to work 5-10. then last night julie asked if i could come in at 4. so then i was gonna work 4-10. charity called 15 minutes ago and asked if i'd close tonight. so now its 4-almost midnight. whoopee. i don't know who i close with. hopefully NOT kurt. but anyway...
i actually haven't minded working as much as i have this week. i'm gonna be really happy when i get my paycheck. and its been fun to see people. of course, a lot of the old crew is gone, but some of the new people are fun too. i had a hilarious time working with taylor and jacob last night. jacob really cracks me up. he's really quiet, most of the time. when he talks or does something, it cracks me up. like last night. i mentioned heidi being in mexico (probably) for a year and how i was sad. he asked me if she spoke mexican. i was like "no she took french in high school." then he informed me that i was dumb and that mexican isn't a language. (i knew that, i really did!! i'm not that stupid!! lol) then he told someone else that there was no doubt about how dumb i am, or something corny like that. then later on to "apologize", he did the chicken dance. let me tell you, you have seen nothing until you've seen jacob do the chicken dance. lol.
taylor's going to the glen concert w/me tomorrow (she'd better bring my relient k hoodie that she borrowed to wear to 7&14 last night, or i might cry!!! lol). i didn't wanna go by myself. i might call nathan and see if he wants to go. i talked to him online earlier and i wanna hang out with him before i leave next week.
speaking of nathan. i was randomly reading old journals last night cuz i couldn't sleep. a lot of stuff has happened between me and him. we had a real "love/hate" relationship there for awhile. i liked him, he didn't like me. then he liked me, but i didn't like him, and so on and so forth for many years (like all thru junior high and most of high school!), thats just crazy! so now i look back at it, and i miss him. we haven't been talking much in the last year or so, and that makes me sad. he was one of my closest friends for awhile, i could tell him anything. i probly still can, he's cool like that.
but anyway. that was an interesting tangent.
i could go off on another tangent, but i won't. i'll save that for the journal that no one else will read but me. stuff is just weird right now, we'll leave it at that.
so i went to kory manley's house the other night. i know, i know, thats weird. but it was cool. he was recording some music for jeremiah, derek and keef. i hung out with ashley (workman) and abbie (i dunno her last name... keef's fun girlfriend) while they recorded. it was fun. except for getting lost on the way... but hey, it was like 11 at night and it was dark!! i ended up giving jeremiah a ride home cuz we both had to be home by 1. i got home a little late, but mom was asleep and didn't know. i was only like 10 minutes late, not that bad.
so anyway. this entire blog was pretty much pointless, so i'm gonna end it now... lol
i need to go get dressed for work one of these days... BLAH!! if you're reading this, come see me at columbiana mcdonalds anytime after 4!! :)

i hate mcdonalds. i should quit, but i can't. i was so close to walking out last night. nome wanted to, but i need the money too bad. i couldn't listen to him cuz it wouldn't have been that hard to talk me into walking out. i really wanted to. it woulda been kinda fun to leave ashley screwed, cuz she did it to us! she freaking played with her cell phone all night!! i don't know what she was doing, but every time i looked up she was messing with it! she told nome to close the lobby-thats most definitely a manager's job! and then it left me and him screwed cuz by the time he got back, we were really far behind. i had the deck mop almost done, but we got really busy so i had to watch the screen (by myself) instead of deck mopping. we closed at 11 last night, but didn't get outta there till like 11:50. it sucked. i have to go back tonight. and tomorrow. and wednesday and thursday. and maybe saturday. and probly monday and tuesday. then wednesday i leave. blah. lynne came thru the drive thru last night. i didn't get to hang out with her at all this summer, and she's leaving in 2 days for kent.
oh and apparently i've been a hot topic of discussion there while i was gone. grrrrr. i really need a new job. but who's gonna hire me when i say "hi i can only work for a week now, and then i'm gonna be gone until fall break, then gone until christmas break, etc. etc." no-freaking-body. so i'm stuck there until God knows when. with people who are stupid.
but sometimes its ok. it was ok saturday night. maybe it will be tonight. but probly not, cuz i close with kurt. he likes to make statements, and then not explain them. it drives me insane. he did it the other day. first of all, i think he was just making up everything he was telling me. grrrr. ok i'm done now. i'm gonna go find something more productive to do, like get dressed and clean my eyebrow ring...
grrrrrrrr (that reminds me of donna, lol. gri gralmost grorgot grabout grat.)

yesterday was good. it was awesome to see everyone one last time. but at the same time, it was sad. i spent my entire summer with these people. they were there for the highs and the lows, the laughs and the cries. and now we're all back in our various homes in various parts of the state (or other states!!), apart until december, and it seemed like a lot of the people i asked aren't coming to the december reunion. no job on earth will ever compare to being a camp counselor, as stupid as that may sound. i know at times i want to quit (like at jr hi camp, when i was ready to just walk away and never come back! but i stayed, thanks to craig and others who calmed me down), but its awesome. the friendships that you make doing it will last for a lifetime, cuz they're friendships made in the Lord. i dunno. it just makes me sad. i really miss everyone, they're like family to me.
but yesterday was fun. i got to camp around 11. i was a little not sure about the whole piercing thing, not sure how people would react, but everyone was cool. the best reaction had to be joe. i'd been there for about an hour and a half. we're sitting there eating lunch, joe is across from me. he looks at me, jumps, and goes "aahhh!!" i was like "just now noticing it?" it was funny. i have some good craig quotes from yesterday, but i think i get good craig quotes every time i see him, lol. ooo ooo ooo! i'm gonna get into sonfest for free!! woohoo! i haven't decided yet, but i can go down the night before and craig will hook me up with someone to stay with. my other option is leaving my car at ben's or travis's and riding down with them. so i dunno what i want to do yet.
i wish i'd spent more time with sarah yesterday. i talked to her at camp, but she'd left by the time i got to clay's park. but i was glad that i could see justin one last time before he leaves for hesston. and i got my central shirt, after like 2 years of asking. :)
heidi. a year. in another country. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! i don't want to think about it right now. yesterday was it. i'm not gonna see her for a year now. that sucks.
think happy thoughts: i got a letter from my sis elizabeth yesterday. i'm definitely gonna go down for a FB game and watch her direct. i can't wait. i guess i got to camp half an hour after she left yesterday. thats sad.
i had fun at kelli's last night. i'm glad that i invited myself to her house, lol.
ok i'm gonna get off here now. i wanna play roller coaster tycoon on my computer.
i have to go back to work tonight. 4-close. with some kid i don't know named nome. its gonna suck. lol
i'm out...

today was a very random day. i decided i to get my eyebrow pierced, so i called up kimmy cuz i didn't want to go by myself. she not only went with me, she got her nose and belly button pierced. girls gone wild today at the tattoo parlor... lol naw just kidding. :) i think it looks fun, but who knows whats gonna happen when i go to kidron on friday... lol

i was really bored afterwards, so i walked down to the library (my gas gauge is on E... i have no gas. i'm not sure if i can even make it to a gas station!! lol) and got some movies: angela's ashes, america's sweethearts, and k-pax. i watched angela's ashes. they did a good job with it, if you compare it to the book. i'm not crazy about either one, but it was alright. i still don't understand why its called angela's ashes, cuz she doesn't die!! if anyone knows, explain it to me!
then i did a fun logic puzzle-i love those. it made me think of the beginning of the school year when lynne and i did those like crazy. we musta analyzed the ones that we had for hours and hours... but it was a lot of fun. :)
i'm going to lunch at band camp tomorrow. blah. i don't really want to. i want to see some people, but i really don't wanna see rodik. i'm NOT one of the graduates that's gonna start calling him randy and act like he's my best friend even tho i hated him when he was my teacher, like other people have done. all well. that doesn't matter. i'm leaving in 14 days, and then i won't have to see people from leetonia ever again if i don't want to, and i'm not sure if i do! i wanna see friends, but thats about it. there are definitely some people in this town that i could live without ever seeing again. but all well. thats that. i have a headache. so i'm going to go take some drugs. lol.
heidi leaves in a little over a month. 39 days, to be exact. i am seriously gonna go insane. i need her. and she's gonna be reeeeeeeeeeally far away. but i guess thats what paper, pen, and stamps were invented for....
ok i'm really leaving this time, i just had to be "depressed" for a bit.

i had a good weekend. i didn't want to go home, but do i ever? i've spent the past two days in my room, cleaning it. not my idea of fun. i went thru everything, threw away like 3 garbage bags full of stuff... i'm glad its done. i think i'm gonna go to the mall tomorrow, if i can find someone to go with me. i'm too scared to go by myself. i know i know, it's just a little eyebrow piercing, but still. i don't want to go by myself. :)

i'm excited for the staff reunion on friday. i hope elizabeth is there. she thought she would be the last time i talked to her. so hopefully she will be. :) i've really missed her this last month, or however long its been since i saw her. she really is like a sister to me. i can't wait to go down to west liberty and see her direct the band. :) i hope ben remembers to burn me a copy of the sims for my computer. :)

i have a new favorite song. when in doubt by thousand foot krutch.

We sat upon your bed,
You said the things you said
And I could not believe that you seem so naive
We exchanged our poetry,
You seem to think a lot like me
I'll guess I'll just assume that we could talk about most anything
Then I asked have you ever felt abandoned? F
elt so lost that you were stranded,
Just like all the walls are closing in
And you were left inside
Have you ever felt like your days were numbered?
Stuck under a tree in thunder
Seems to be no way out!
But there is One when in doubt

Ready for another day
Slowly watch ya waste away,
Havin' fun, bein' cool
Like we did in high school,
Elementary romance feelin' nervous at the dance,
Crack a smile hold it down,
Whatever the circumstance,
Sex, Drugs, Hadda be cool,
All the things we learned in school,
Typical teenage machines,
Anyone tell me what this means?
I could learn, I could try,
Never really had an alibi
Wish I did, that’s no lie
Everybody's asking

(chorus)
Why
When you feel like you cant fly
You gotta know I got the answer for ya baby,
Drives ya crazy, it's not over
Theres so much more to life then this
Why?When you feel like you cant cry
You gotta know I got the answer for ya baby,
Drives ya crazy it's not over
Theres so much more to life then this

Things seem so hallucinary,
In the corners of my mind they scare me,
I know ya never meant to desert me,
Just like ya never really meant to hurt me
Then I ask have you ever felt abandoned?
Felt so lost that you were stranded,
Just like all the walls are closing in
And you were left inside
Have you ever felt like your days were numbered?
Stuck under a tree in thunder
Seems to be no way out
But there is One when in doubt
And you ask

(chorus)

So much more to life than this

i really like that song. :) ok i think thats all for now... i have some stuff i want to do before i get off here and head to bed.

wow its been awhile. lol. like 2 months. all well. i'm back. i'll try to keep up with this again. i forgot about it. the summer's almost over. i start college august 20. eek. lol.

so i'm sitting in the basement at ben's house in kidron, OH. its almost 2 in the morning. i'm surrounded by guys (brad, dustin, and braden) playing counterstrike or something like that, and ben is asleep on an air mattress behind me. tim is upstairs and jenny is asleep in the other room. i'm glad she's staying here tonight, i'm not the only girl now. lol. but she went to bed at like 11:30 or something. lol. i should go to bed. but i had too much caffiene today. i can sleep in tomorrow. jenny's getting up at 8, but i'm just gonna sleep in till like 10. i love the relief sale. lol. it was also a good excuse to come out here and hang out with everyone. :) i think mom didn't want me to stay here, but i don't really care. its always interesting, thats for sure. :)

so tomorrow will pretty much be spent at the relief sale all day long. watching the quilt auction. :) and eating egg rolls and homemade ice cream. and looking thru all the weirdo books at the book sale. and looking at the fun stuff in the ten thousand villages room. lol. i'm such a dork. :)

i have to go back to mcdonalds soon. i told them i could come back august 9 and then found out that i actually coulda started on monday, but all well. another week off will be nice, even tho i can't really afford it. i hear a bunch of people quit, are quitting, or got fired. and practically everyone got a raise. i want one!! i'll flip if they don't give me one.

ok i really do need to go to bed. lol. its getting late. i just need to convince my body that its tired. i'm off...

so i wish i had gone to columbiana church of the nazarene a lot sooner. i went this morning with kimmy and leah falzetta. i wasn't sure if i was going to like it, but it was awesome!! mom wants me at our church for the next 2 weeks tho :(, but i think i have a compromise. they have church before sunday school there, so next sunday i'm going to church there and leaving at like 10:20 and going to our church for the service. the sunday after that i probly have to go to our church cuz its "graduation sunday", but i think that every sunday that i'm home this summer i'll most likely go to Columbiana. its a lot different than LMC, but i think thats a good thing. its a lot more emotional, if thats the right way to say it. but i never got bored during the sermon. at LMC my mind kinda wanders, but that didn't happen at all. i dunno. the sunday school was a lot louder than i'm used to, but maybe thats because there's usually only 4 people in my class at LMC and there were like 15 there. i definitely am gonna go back, hopefully next sunday.

i worked 4-10 last night, and it wasn't too bad. we got into a really deep discussion, which isn't something that happens often at work. it was danny, mike, taylor, steve, and me. we started out with talking about heaven (i don't know how that started, i just came back from doing something and they were talking about it). from there we talked about the age of accountability, when satan was cast out of heaven, what it means to be a christian, it was just really interesting. danny knows a lot more than i thought he did. i figured he was one of those people that just thought that good deeds could get you to heaven, but he was saying how his dad thinks that and it bothers him and he doesn't know how to tell his dad that just being a good person isn't going to get you into heaven. so mike asked what was, and between steve and i we explained how you have to accept Jesus and stuff. it escalated from there. someone asked me what mennonites believe and that lead to a discussion on the necessity of so many different branches of christianity, etc. it was just really interesting!! i'm glad stevo was there tho, cuz i'm terrible at trying to "argue my point" or whatever when it comes the bible. i haven't read all of it, although i should, and i'm just not a strong debater.
then after work i'm almost in my car and i hear someone yell "tracey!!" i looked up and someone is hanging halfway out of their car in the drive thru calling me. i couldn't tell who it was so i walked over and it was josh kelm! i talked to him for a bit cuz i haven't really done that in a long time! his graduation party is june 21 so i can't go :(, but i need a senior picture of him still. it was cool.
pastor eric just got online, which is good, cuz taylor has some stuff that she's looking up and bringing to work tonight and i needed some help finding verses to back up my view. i think i'm gonna go grab my bible now... and leave a message for lynne to call me when she gets back from boardman cuz we were supposed to work on our physics today!! its due this friday!

today was a good day. i got to sleep in, then leah came over. we went to lynne's church to hear her play handbells. it was awesome!! i didn't really know what handbells were before this. i mean i knew, but i'd never actually seen anyone play them. it was great. :) then michelle mcvay called me and i met her at the food court in the mall. it was kinda weird to be walking around the southern park mall with michelle, considering the fact that she lives in st. clairsville... lol. we went to famous footwear so i could buy my graduation shoes, but they didn't have any in white. i wasn't a happy camper. we went to jc penney to find a suit for her, went to the hallmark store and bought car air fresheners (macintosh apple :-D delight inspired me, and she got that one that smells like guy's cologne that jenny used to have), then walked around till it was time to meet her parents back in the food court. then i took those shoes that my mom bought back to burlington, stopped at home for a sec, then headed to alliance to the mall to go to the famous footwear there. they had them. so now i have my cute white graduation shoes. if only i could find a dress... lol.

i'm going to michelle's graduation party next sunday. i'm excited. she named the people that are going, and it sounds like fun. :) i hear weird noises coming from the tv in the other room. i'm going to go investigate...

The Best Deceptions by Dashboard Confessional
I heard about your trip. I heard about your souveneirs. I heard about the cool breeze, in the cool nights, and the cool guys that you spent them with. Well I guess I should have heard of them from you. I guess I should have heard of them from you. Don't you see, don't you see that the charade is over? And all the "Best Deceptions" and "Clever Cover Story" awards go to you. So kiss me hard, cause this might be the last time that I let you. You will be back some day and this awkward kiss that tells of other people's lips will be of service to keeping you away. I heard about your regrets. I heard that you were feeling sorry. I heard from someone that you wish you could set things right between us. Well I guess I should have heard of them from you. I guess I should have heard of them from you. Don't you see, don't you see that the charade is over? And all the "Best Deceptions" and "Clever Cover Story" awards go to you. So kiss me hard, cause this will be the last time that I let you. You will be back someday and this awkward kiss that screams of other people's lips will be of service to keeping you away. I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers, I'll be alright when my hands get warm. Ignoring the phone, I'd rather say nothing. I'd rather you'd never heard my voice. You're calling too late, too late to be gracious and you do not warrant long good-byes. You're calling too late. You're calling too late.

i like that song.

so i just decided that i'm gonna go to purple door this summer. i can't wait!!!!! its about 5 hours away, but if people go with me i'll be fine!! i'm sure i can find someone to go with me. there are so many good bands there!! like five iron, relient k, benjamin gate, brave saint saturn, bleach, the list goes on... i'm so pumped!! that gives me plenty of time to talk mom into letting me go. its august 15-16. :) ok i need to go finish getting ready for my physics test next period, i just wanted to share my excited-ness with anyone who actually reads these posts. :)

WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!

i think i'm gonna go see two towers on wednesday. its at the cheap seats. leah said she wants to come. but just in case she doesn't, i'm still going. i want to see it again. plus its a good excuse to get outta the house for over 3 hours. :) thats always a good thing. i should get off the internet and work on my government. but all well. i'll do it before i go to bed. as long as i have a short presentation for tomorrow i'm good. i think i have enough info.

leah falzetta cracks me up. she's like my "coach" or something. not gonna get into details cuz too many people already know and it scares me... lol

erin milhoan you're awesome, i just read your post for the 11th (the first one). we're a lot alike. :)

i'm done now. bye.

yawn. i need more sleep. all well. leah was at church today. we're gonna spend the next couple weeks "church hopping". next sunday we're going to st. paul's to see lynne play handbells, the sunday after that we're gonna go to columbiana nazarene church, just cuz we always said we were going to and never did. the sunday after that i might go to greenford, but she doesn't want to go with me. all well. i think i know enough people there by now. i need to talk to jeremiah or steve and see what time their church starts, and corey jones to see which service he goes to at gcc. wow this is a boring post... lol. but i'm off to find something more interesting to do, like find brian hershberger a fun b-day card. :)

prom was great. i had a lot of fun. definitely better than last year. :) jeremiah was a blast. definitely better than last year's date. i love keefry, but last year just doesn't compare to this year. i won bullcrap yesterday. i've never won that game in my life. but i did yesterday. :) i played with leah, leanne, and christy. kim and i started a club. we call it the suspenders club. i think we have (hang on lemme think.... me, kim, kory manly, corey cantaloupe, alicia kyser, kara kundravi) 6 members. we all have one thing in common: we like people who we can't have.

yes, i like someone. big shocker, i know. its been awhile since i've said that. but don't get too excited about it. boys don't like me. i don't have a chance. so i'm not gonna do anything about it. there's no point in setting myself up to get hurt. i just need a good dose of "christy-ism" to talk me out of it. :)

afterprom was so much better than last year. there was more to do. allthough i mostly just sat around and talked or listened to jeremiah singing and playing guitar. there's nothing better, right kelli? :) i was near kelli's house last night. or rather, this morning. it was probly around 1 or so. on our way to the grand slam. anyway, afterprom. i didn't sleep at all, on the way there or back. kim and jeremiah were both sleeping, so i turned backwards in my seat and spent the ride talking to lolly and cheese. it was great. we sang along with the radio, talked about lighting farts on fire, made fun of the sleeping people, fun stuff like that. lol. i didn't see shannon a lot. that made me sad. she was the only reason i didn't die of boredom at last year's afterprom. i went miniature golfing!! lol. me and lolly both suck at it, so we shared a golf club and took turns hitting our golf ball. we were terrible. we would hit the ball 7 or 8 times and say that we only had 3 hits for that hole. it was great.

mom, tim and i went to see x-men 2 today. it was awesome, well worth the $6 i spent buying all 3 of our tickets (gotta love the carnation mall.. its so cheap!! lol)

i'm off now. i'm running on 5 hours of sleep, and my mom wants the computer. there's so much more i could say about last night, but i can't. thats what old-fashioned journals that no one ever sees are for...

so prom is in 2 days. i finally have all the stuff that i need. i just need to wash my car. i told tim that i'd take him to see x-men 2 if he helped me, so on saturday me and him are gonna go see it. i'm excited! :) i have to pee. but i'm in school and i hate school bathrooms. rrrraaaarrrrrrr.

so 2nd period i'm sitting in the elementary office, like i do every day. and i look out the window to the hallway and i see jordan posey and laurie hoover walk past.... i'm confused. they go to columbiana. why are they here? hmmm...

speaking of jordan... i haven't talked to him yet. i'm still a little weirded out by saturday night. i guess i just don't understand why it's his problem. i'm the one who is me... that doesn't make any sense.

kim just told me that zachy's coming back for graduation. that makes me happy. i haven't seen him since he moved. woo hoo!! i'm excited! that kid cracks me up.

i'm gonna go find something fun to do now... blah blah....

i need more sleep.

farrah was very insistant on me taking these quizzes, so here they are...





Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You? quiz, by Angel.






Take the What Type of Friend are
You? quiz, and visit mutedfaith.com.
[Me.]


these take too much time... lol sorry farrah but i'm done taking them.... lol

got my car. i love it.

so work last night... wow. not really sure what happened. but i ended up flipping out on jordan, which i don't think i've ever done before. but he said some stuff that really bugged me. i dunno... i didn't know how to react. i think that i'm ok. yeah, so i don't trust people easily. so? is that really a bad thing? it saves me a lot of pain! i dunno.. i need to get off here. i don't want to. i'm talking to joe and lacey and it makes me happy. i miss those two. but i just saw joe today. i need to get to bed cuz i'm tired... i still need to think too..