I just finished completely re-reading this. It was kinda fantastic, haha. I've lost touch with more friends than I've kept in touch with, but... life happens!

I feel like I randomly come back to this when I'm not feeling happy. I think it's because it's a safe place that no one reads, and it's been around for so long. It's seen many-a-vent... haha.

I feel like I'm too old to unleash my feelings onto the internet like I used to. I don't know. I just am not happy. I have moments where I'm fine, and things are great, but then I have moments like now, where I hate that I'm 25 years old, barely making enough money to get by, and feeling like I don't fit in with most of my friends. I guess the whole friends thing has been a constant in my life. I just feel like I'm generally on the fringe of friends, and sometimes I make it into the thick of things and am feeling good, but it's not long before I feel like I'm back on the edge just kinda observing everything. This is just not how I planned my life to be. I can hardly even handle reading older posts in this blog, because I see how far I am now from where I was then, and I don't necessarily think that it's a good thing. This is going to sound totally lame and like I'm in junior high, but I just freaking need a best friend. Everyone's supposed to have one, but I haven't for a good 4 or 5 years now. I'm not saying that would fix all of the problems in my life, but it would be really good to have someone to talk about things like this instead of internalizing them or randomly crying in front of my friends so they all think I'm bonkers. Especially since that's the basic gist I got from a conversation with a friend (that people don't know what to do when I cry, so they just ignore me). So that's encouraging... haha.

Anyway. I don't know why I typed all of this. I'm going to go watch Little Women or some other comfort movie, because it'll make me feel better. :)